Direct Marketing Weekly

LAST BLOG

2009-04-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a lot of fun blogging. And I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the comments I’ve received from readers, especially when I hear that I’ve been able to help them get better results. However…

…with a heavy work schedule, a newsletter that I want to get out more frequently, and magazine articles that I’m being asked to write, I’ve come to the conclusion that something has to give.

And I’ve decided that it should be the weekly blog.

I’ll revisit the situation before fall so you might want to check back around Labour Day. But in the meantime, why not subscribe to my Rants ‘N Raves newsletter? Sign up by writing me at: symbiomarketing@telus.net

Thanks for being a loyal Direct Marketing Weekly reader. I hope we connect in future through the newsletter. With many thanks, I remain…

Dr. Bob

http://www.symbiomarketing.com

Nothing In It For Me

2009-04-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

I really like the financial institution that I deal with.

I really like their advertising.

But there was some creative bankruptcy present when they developed a booklet asking customers to vote for their new board of directors.

The cover depicted a ballot box featuring the headline, “How can you help us?”

Why would I want to know how to help them? It’s not like a charity that will give assistance to others when I help the organization. Sorry, Mr. Banker it’s not my job to help you; it’s your job to help me.

Worse, inside they announced that I could win a $3000 deposit just for voting. Now, that interests me. So why wasn’t that blasted across the front cover?!

I’m tempted to cast my ballot and receive an entry in their sweepstakes, because I’m betting that they’ll receive few others…thereby increasing my odds. But that would would encourage them to continue with their self-absorbed ways.

And the only person in this relationship who should be self-absorbed is their customer…

Dr. Bob

P.S. A new issue of my Rants “n Raves newsletter will be going out soon. If you’re not yet a subscriber, email me at…
symbiomarketing@telus.net

http://www.symbiomarketing.com

"Krafted" To Be Noticed

2009-03-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

One DM package really stood out amid my Thursday mail – a 5-1/2 X 7-3/4” envelope from the Canadian Wildlife Federation. The main reason it caught my attention? It was made of brown kraft paper.

Using that kind of stock is an excellent way to immediately convey both economy ("Don’t worry, we won’t waste your money if you make a donation.") and environmental sensitivity, which is the centerpiece of CWF’s mission.

Inside, there was a traditional letter asking for support and a large sheet of address labels. But there was something else that separated this mailing from the rest of those involving labels.

There was a 3-1/2 X 4-3/4 note listing more than half a dozen ways to use them, beyond the usual, e.g. stick one onto a book that you lend to ensure that it gets returned, affix one to a form instead of writing out your name and address.

Anyone who donates to charities receives copious quantities of address labels. The ones from CWF will likely be more appreciated by people, though, simply because the organization thought to point out how valuable their labels can be.

It’s just too bad that CWF used a bottom-opening envelope (see my Feb 16 rant). That’s a type of OE that raises the ire of…

Dr. Bob

P.S. A new issue of my Rants “n Raves newsletter will be going out soon. If you’re not yet a subscriber, email me at…
symbiomarketing@telus.net

http://www.symbiomarketing.com

TRUE FUNNY + DAVID + SEE YOU ON THE 30th

2009-03-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

FUNNY VIDEO
I hadn’t seen this humorous and too-often-true YouTube video till I read about it in DM guru Alan Rosenspan’s newsletter. If you haven’t seen the video, check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heSudg-tfIk

And if you’re not a subscriber to Alan’s excellent newsletter, send in your request to: Arosenspan@aol.com

DAVID OGILVY
My big regret – I missed two opportunities to see the great David Ogilvy in person. He died almost 10 years ago but, thanks to YouTube, you can watch him on-screen. Here’s an interview he did in 1977, in which he describes some of his most famous campaigns: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kfsnjcUNiw&feature=related

SEE YOU ON THE 30th
Yours truly is heading South for some sun and to do a little business, so I won’t be blogging for a couple of weeks. Check back on Monday, March 30th for the next posting by…

Dr. Bob

symbiomarketing@telus.net
http://www.symbiomarketing.com

NOT EXACTLY SYMBIOTIC

2009-03-02T00:05:00.000-08:00

The package I received from the non-profit looked excellent. Wonderful design, well-written copy, good quality materials. But if left me uninspired. And no wonder.

Nearly all the letter talked was about the organization. Same with their web site. It was all us, us, us…leaving me to ask, what about Bob? And what about the people in need whom I’m supposedly being asked to support?

The ask left me unmoved too (which is why I just said ‘supposedly’). It read, “Please make a special gift in support of these important programs today.”

If you want to raise money, don’t ask people to support your programs; ask them to give their support to starving families in Africa or wherever. They’re the ones that donors like me want to help…not some organization’s programs.

And this charity missed an obvious opportunity with the strategy of the package.

The letter was about kids needing an education in Cameroon. But the organization also deals with HIV/AIDS…and most scientists believe that HIV/AIDS began in Cameroon. So why not talk about AIDS and save the education theme for some other story about kids in a different deprived country?

Another recommendation – use terms that people readily understand, instead of politically-correct euphemisms. This letter was laced with references to ‘The Global South’. Where’s that? What’s that? Ask 100 people on the street and you’ll get 100 different answers.

Yes, professionals with non-governmental agencies use that term. But the vast majority of donors only understand, ‘Third World Country’, ‘Developing Nation’ and ‘Under Developed Nation’.

And, better yet, what about using a term they’d understand in a heartbeat: “Poor Countries.”

I love this organization’s mission and work. But they haven't recognized that they need to nurture a symbiotic relationship with donors…not spend their time looking in the mirror and trying to force others to do the same.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say, if they don’t lose their self-focus pretty soon, they’re going to end up losing donors like…

Dr. Bob

symbiomarketing@telus.net
http://www.symbiomarketing.com

TAX SHELTER + LOGOMANIA

2009-02-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

WINDOW ON TAX SHELTERS
I received a 5.75 X 11.5 self-mailer last week, with a headline reading, "3 ways to improve your home with your tax dollars. TAX SHELTER."

Because of the dominating size of the last two words, I was certain that the piece was about some financial plan to reduce my taxes…and probably land me in hot water with the federal tax department.

But I was wrong. These guys are just selling windows…ones that qualify for a government credit.

So if they’re pushing windows, why in the world would they use the term ‘tax shelter’, which connotes all manner of nefarious financial dealings in people’s minds? I can’t imagine how many people threw the piece out without reading it, simply because they’re not into tax loophole schemes.

TIP: If you’re selling something basic like windows, let your readers know that. Don’t lead homeowners down the garden path with talk of a tax shelter that doesn’t exist.

LOGOMANIA
Nine times out of 10, I recommend not showing multiple logos in an ad or direct mail piece.

For one thing, they look junky. For another, headlines featuring logos get 22% less readership than heads with the company’s name set in regular type.

Help The Aged, however, knows when to break the rules.

In their most recent newsletter mailing, they plastered the back of their outer envelope with 11 logos. Why?

To immediately communicate that big companies and government departments are behind their cause…and to convince recipients that, if those smart operations support HTG, maybe you should too.

Plus, it addressed the question in some people’s minds: if you’re in such desperate need of money, why are you spending it on a newsletter? The answer: our corporate supporters are paying for it.

That’s the kind of messaging that generates donations from people like…

Dr. Bob

symbiomarketing@telus.net
http://www.symbiomarketing.com

IN A FLAP+COINCIDENCE+TOO LATE

2009-02-16T00:27:00.000-08:00

IN A FLAP
I’ve probably opened 19 kazillion envelopes in my day (maybe 21 Kzn) and my fingers are programmed to behave in a way that’s pretty efficient. That’s why I was ticked at the package I received from the British Columbia elections people.

I read the teaser on the front of the OE, then turned the envelope over to open it. But there was no flap! At least not one that I could see. What kind of chicanery was Elections BC trying to pull on voters, I wanted to know. Then I spotted it. The flap, that is. At the bottom of the envelope!

Why, in the name of all that’s democratic, did they choose to do that? Whatever the reason, it’s the last technique that I’d recommend replicating...unless you want to frustrate your target audience before they even get to your message.

TIP: Sometimes it pays to zig when others are zagging. Sometimes you’re better to stick with tried and true.

COINCIDENCE? OR COPYCAT?
This year I didn’t open many of the fundraising solicitations I received in the late fall and winter. Instead, I saved dozens of them and only now, when I’m about to make some donations, have I started opening them.

It’s fascinating to be exposed to so many unopened packages at once. (It was also frustrating to discover that a number of them sent some pretty nice greeting cards, note pads and address labels for the holidays…and now they’ll have to sit unused for 9 or 10 months.)

I was struck at first by two identical envelopes from ALS. On the back they featured a close-up, black & white photo of two hands.

When I looked inside, I saw that one was dated November 7th and the other February 2nd. Everything else was the same. Now, it isn’t unheard-of for a mailer to send out the same package. So I wasn’t all that surprised.

But I was certainly surprised by another envelope in my stack.

It, too, had a black & white close-up of two hands, although they were in a different position. Another mailing from ALS, I wondered? Nope. It was from the Parkinson’s people, dated February 2nd.

Was it just a coincidence that visually-similar packages when out on the same day? Or is there a copycat designer in the house? Don’t know.

SO IT’S TOO LATE TO DONATE?
One non-profit sent me a big, beautiful package of materials. But I can’t send them a donation. The problem is, the teaser on the OE read, “2008 Year End Campaign. Last Chance to give.”

It’s now 2009 so I missed my “last chance”. Too bad. I guess they won’t be able to receive any more donations from…

Dr. Bob

Want to receive my last newsletter? Email me at:
symbiomarketing@telus.net

http://www.symbiomarketing.com

IT'S BAAACK + DONOR ABUSE

2009-02-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

IT’S BAAAACK
Yes, Direct Marketing Weekly is back. And, except for times when I’m on vacation or out of town on business, there will be a new post every Monday.

My thanks to all of you who wrote and said they missed this blog. Obviously your flattery and pressure worked…plus the fact that my internal rant-o-meter is almost ready to burst and I just have to find some release. So let me vent to you about…

DONOR ABUSE
Last week I received an envelope that totally intrigued me. Not because it was flashier than any other package in that day’s mail, but because it was so non-descript. It looked like it had been made out of a brown paper bag. Naturally, I was curious about it and what its contents might be.

I was a little suspicious about the mailing being from a legitimate source, though, because (a) there was no logo or return address and (b) there was a red teaser reading, “URGENT AND TIME SENSITIVE MATERIAL ENCLOSED.”

Such envelopes are usually a dead giveaway that a snake oil sales pitch is about to follow. So I half-expected to learn that my name had been specially pre-selected to possibly be a winner in the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes, providing my lucky number is drawn.

I even started imagining Ed McMahon having personally created the envelope from his very own grocery bag.

Still curious and thinking of how much trouble Ed had likely gone to, I proceeded to open the envelope…and was shocked. The mailing wasn’t from Ed. Or even a PCH competitor.

It was from a charity! A well-known one!! One that I support!!!

So what were they doing sending me a stealth envelope? Were they afraid or ashamed to show their logo to this loyal supporter? And what was with that bogus, hyperbolic teaser?

I would have dwelled on those questions but new ones filled my mind as I tried to read the contents: Why was the 6-1/2 X 3-1/2” letter set with eye-straining 9 pt type?

Why was the postscript a repeat of a weak statement featured earlier in the letter: “Again, if this reminder and your recent gift have crossed in the mail, we apologize and thank you for your continued support.”

Why did they even use a PS? (You rarely need them on a 1-page letter, especially if it’s only 3-1/2” long.)

And why did they bold the sentence, “Our February 27th deadline is almost upon us and we must raise $489,500 by this date.” Donors don’t care about an organization’s deadline.

Plus, who’s going to think they can make a difference with a $50 donation when the organization tells you it needs to raise almost half a mil before it will be satisfied?

TIP OF THE WEEK: It’s simple – don’t do what these folks did. Unless, of course, you want to hear an earful from…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Hello Again. Thanks. Sorry.

2008-09-02T11:16:00.001-07:00

Back in July I said I was suspending Direct Marketing Weekly for July & August because I was busy and also wanted to have some time to enjoy the summer.

Well, summer's over and the blog should be back. But I'm busier than ever and have had to make a tough decision – to suspend the blog indefinitely. There's the possibility that I'll bring it back around the end of the year so you might want to check back. But, sorry, no promises.

If you're not a subscriber to my newsletter Rants 'N Raves, why not sign up? Just email me at: symbiomarketing@telus.net

I want to thank you very much for having followed the blog before and for visiting today. All the best!

Dr. Bob

TWO CENTS WORTH+EXCEPTION+BYE

2008-07-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

MY TWO CENTS WORTH
In my March 3rd blog, I took the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada to task for committing the same verbal faux pas as UNICEF had done the year before.

In the case of MS, they’d sent me an envelope with a 5-cent piece showing through a second window, accompanied by the teaser, “This nickel can help end MS.” (UNICEF used to say, “This nickel could save a child’s life.”)

To teasers like the forementioned, I said, “Then why send it to me?”

UNICEF got the message a year ago and changed their verbiage. Now MS has too. Their latest nickel mailing reads, “Can a nickel really help MS?”

TIP: Listen to Dr. Bob.

AN EXCEPTION TO MY PRESCRIPTION
I always encourage non-profit organizations to feature their logo when mailing to donors. After all, your donors are your friends. They should be happy to hear from you.

But here’s an exception...

Last week I received a package featuring the words “Help…end the suffering” on the OE, but with no logo. I opened it up to discover that it was from the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation.

I used to donate to them but haven’t in a while. They probably figured, “Bob hasn’t been responding when he sees that we’re mailing him. He’s probably chucking our mail as soon as he sees it’s from us. Let’s trick him into opening this mailing by not revealing who we are.”

And it worked.

The letter recognizes that I’ve donated in the past and asks me to do so again. And now that I’ve been re-exposed to them, I think I will.

TIP: Before relegating Lapsed donors to the Prospect File, try doing what Crohn’s & Colitis did – send them an OE without your logo on it.

BYE
Your blogger is busy…needs to get his overdue newsletter out (get in touch if you’re not on the list)…and wants to enjoy some of the summer weather. So yours truly is suspending this blog till Labour Day.

Thanks for being a loyal reader. Enjoy your summer. And come back on September 1st to see what DM is either frustrating or impressing…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

ME & MIKE + QUICK TIPS

2008-06-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

ME & MIKE
I received an orange coloured self-mailer, which alone would have been enough to capture my attention. But, for good measure, the people promoting a Motorola brand of communications device went one step further.

The headline read, “Bob did it in under a second.”

Naturally I had to find out what I’d done in under a second so I looked inside. The piece was all about some device called Mike that makes for speedy phone conversations.

It included a personalized URL which you, loyal blog reader, are free to use yourself (http://www.meetmike.ca/bknight5). As you’ll see, it’s kinda cool.

TIP: Don’t stop just because you’ve come up with one arresting means of grabbing your prospect’s attention. Keep the pedal to the medal. A one-two or even a one-two-three punch can create a knockout DM piece.

QUICK TIP #1
The Canadian Olympic Foundation sent me a very nice package – an outer envelope that was brilliant red on one side and, on the other, featured a full colour photo of an Olympian in action.

Inside were Olympic stickers, a folder and a letter signed by the athlete on the envelope. The design was good. The production values were good. The copy was good. But one thing turned me off.

Near the end, the signatory said that she and her teammates were going to work hard to bring home a gold medal…”But we can’t do it without you.” My immediate reaction was, gimme a break. You mean Canada’s Olympic hopes rest on my puny shoulders?

The tip? Don’t overstate your case or your credibility can go down an Olympic sized tube. Fast.

QUICK TIP #2
UNHCR sent me a very compelling newsletter and an accompanying letter with a strong ask. The problem? I almost didn’t open the envelope because of the teaser.

It read, “Actions speak louder than words.”

I’ve heard that old chestnut 1000 times before. I even believe it (except when I write the words, of course). But there’s nothing there to encourage me to open the OE.

The tip – if you’re going to use a platitude, modify it somehow to make it your own. (Maybe something like, “Your actions speak louder than our words.”) Then you might impress prospects like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Where's the blog

2008-06-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry – you've come to the Dr. Bob blog but there's no new posting. The problem is, I was so busy, I didn't have time to review last week's unsolicited mail, let alone comment on it. We're just going to have to let it go till next Monday.

Thanks again for stopping by today. See you on the 29th.

Dr. Bob

SAY WHAT?

2008-06-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

Note: In this blog, I usually deal with a non-profit DM package and another from a commercial mailer. But a mailing I received from a charity last week contains lessons for anyone using the mail. So I’ll only describe one package today.

(1) The outer envelope features the question, “Can we avert a national healthcare crisis?” Then there are tick boxes for Yes and No.

TIP: Don’t ask questions that recipients can answer definitively, or they don’t need to open the envelope to get the proper answer. In this case, they could have salvaged the question if, rather than featuring the answering options, they’d instead followed the question with something like, “Look inside for the surprising answer.”

(2) In the second paragraph, the letter talks about “half a million people” who have a disease and “97,000” who are going to get it. Look at what I’ve just written. My bet is that the numerals grab your attention more than the words. Yet the organization is trying to wow you most with the former figure.

TIP: If you’re trying to impress someone with numbers, use numerals…"500,000" just looks like more than "half a million".

(3) The package asks me to make a donation and to complete their survey, returning both in the BRE. But the postscript reads, “If you would like to help us reduce the impact on the environment, you can also complete the survey online by visiting (URL).”

Wait a minute. They’ve already impacted the environment negatively by sending me the mailing. How am I going to be able to reduce the impact by merely returning what they’ve already printed?

Plus, why do they say “also”? Do they want me to return the hard copy AND go online?

And, after pleading for a donation, they end up telling me to go online...just to do the survey. There's no mention about donating online.

TIP: Before you go wrapping your organization in motherhood statements, make sure that they make sense. And before you give a recipient instructions, ensure that they’re correct. Otherwise, you might get what you’ve asked for. Especially if you’re dealing with someone like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

IF YOU GOT IT + HELP WANTED

2008-06-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

IF YOU GOT IT, FLAUNT IT
This week a well-known non-profit organization sent me a #10 envelope featuring only the name and address of the organization. I wasn’t really in the mood for opening the envelope and was about to chuck the package. But, being in the business, I made myself open it up.

Surprise! There were address labels and a notepad inside. They’re not bad, so I’m glad I didn’t throw away the package unopened.

TIP: If you’re sending donors a gift, let them know about it on the envelope. Chances are, they’ll open your package to get your freemium, read your message and possibly donate out of guilt.

Even if they’re not interested enough to open the envelope, at least you’ll have made some kind of impression on them – that yours is an organization that was nice enough to send them something for free.

HELP WANTED
A self-described ‘busy marketing consultant’ working a few miles from me needs even more help than he realizes.

He sent my neighbours and me a flyer seeking a top-notch admin assistant who lives in his residential complex. But if living in the designated complex is a requirement for employment, why sent it to the residents of my neighbourhood?

TIP: It’s great to focus on a narrow target audience and to address them by segment in the headline (e.g. “Attention: Left-handed sufferers of bunions.”). But you have to deliver it to THEM and not to right-handed people who have healthy feet like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

BE PREPARED + DON'T BLAME ME

2008-06-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

"BE PREPARED"
That’s the slogan of the Boy Scouts. But it’s obviously been taken to heart by at least one non-profit organization.

About a week after Cyclone Nargis hit, I received a package from UNICEF. The outer envelope featured a stenciled, “URGENT Emergency Appeal” ‘stamp’. Through a second window I could read a headline on the enclosed letter – “Children in Crisis: Myanmar/Burma Cyclone”.

The return envelope had a line under the logo reading, “Thank you for responding to our emergency appeal.”

The entire package seemed to be designed around the tragic cyclone. But, of course, UNICEF has a kazillion OEs and BREs sitting in warehouses just waiting for the next crisis in the world. Then they just need to bang out a customized letter and pop the package in the mail.

TIP: Planning – and printing – ahead can not only save you time; it can save you a whack of money. Take a look at your own future mailings and see if you can print some common components in advance.

DON’T BLAME ME
I received a folder about the 2008 Search Engine Strategies Conference, and I could tell that some adhesive had to be dealt with before I could open it.

I thought that two panels were glued along the bottom, so I started trying to separate them. But I only succeeded in nearly destroying the whole piece, as I pulled and tugged and uttered epithets at the sponsor of the mailer.

Eventually I figured out that it was held together by two clear stickers and that I should have simply used a letter opener to slit them.

TIP: There are a lot of people out there who race through the process of opening their mail. So instead of using clear stickers that befuddle the minds and fingers of souls like your scribe, why not let them know that there are stickers involved? Use coloured stickers so your target audience has a better idea as to what they’re up against. Then you’ll be applauded, instead of cursed at, by recipients like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

STROKE OF GENIUS + CALL ME

2008-05-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

STROKE OF GENIUS
The Heart & Stroke Foundation sent me a mailing last week that had me applauding for a minute. The teaser on the outer envelope read, “What if you lost the ability to do simple things…like open this envelope?” Cool!

Inside, a lady described the struggle her husband of 50 years has had since experiencing a stroke. And, of course, she said how thankful she is for all the help she’s received from the Heart & Stroke Foundation.

TIP: Involvement devices like pull tabs, stickers and tear-offs are often a good way increase response. But they cost money. It’s a lot more effective, financially, to come up with a clever verbal involvement device like Heart & Stroke did.

CALL ME
In the past, I’ve applauded cable provider/telecom Shaw for their excellent advertising (http://www.snailskis.com/). But their latest DM package has me scratching my head. Or, more accurately, rubbing my eyes.

Inside a #10 envelope featuring the teaser, ‘The better home phone service is waiting inside”, is a letter. At least I think it’s a letter. It’s starts with a salutation but doesn’t end with a signature or name of a signatory like real letters do.

The content of the semi-letter is actually quite compelling. The problem is, I can hardly read it. The type is smaller than a snail’s eyelash.

TIP TO SHAW: Dear Shaw. If you want to sell me on your home phone service, don’t send me any more communications like the one I just received…unless you’re willing to include a free magnifying glass.

A better bet would be to phone me. For one thing, I could then fully comprehend your sales message. For another, it only makes sense for you to call. After all, you’re a phone company!

Sincerely, your potential customer…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

SHORT & SWEET + FAMILY TIME

2008-05-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

“KEEP IT SHORT & SWEET”
That’s become an expression. A mantra. Because when it comes to copywriting, short sentences and short paragraphs inevitably out-pull long, cumbersome copy. But at least one non-profit organization has yet to learn that lesson.

Here’s a single sentence excerpted from a fundraising letter I received last week:

“We will be directed down this path despite the fact that peer-reviewed evidence, produced in Canada by government salaried, world class researchers warns that growing the rate of incarceration is a waste of taxpayers dollars; that community-based rehabilitation programs are more cost-effective, humane and just; and that the structural causes of crime might actually get worse as prison infrastructure consumes resources for evidence-based crime prevention alternatives.”

Whew!

And believe it or not, this missive wasn’t directed towards some professorial assemblage. It was sent to Joe Public.

TIP: Find yourself with more than a dozen words in a sentence and it’s time to get out your blue pencil. Find yourself with a sentence running six lines deep and it’s time to get out your scissors. Find yourself with copy like this, and it’s time to get a new writer.

Write short sentences. Use short words. Keep your paragraphs short. That’s the long and short of how to succeed in copywriting without really trying.

FAMILY TIME
Nobody knows how to market to families better than Disney. So I wasn’t surprised at how good their most recent DM package was.

The back of the oversized envelope featured 13 full colour photos of DVD/VCR boxes, promoting their movie club. Inside was a catalogue of countless movies you could order. There was an 8-1/2 X 11 full colour promo sheet. A four-colour illustrated letter. A sheet of stickers featuring Disney characters.

But what got me was the front of the envelope.

Like the back, it was plastered with full colour movie box photos and promotional messages – everything fun and festive. However, the visual treatment wasn’t the most noteworthy aspect to my mind.

Instead of addressing the package to me or my wife, it was addressed to “The Knight Family”. A little extra touch that many organizations, feeling that they’ve already gone the distance with hype and promo, wouldn’t have bothered with.

Without putting the message into words, the addressing verbiage said, “This isn’t just for you, mother or father. Or just for your children. It’s for all of you, to bring you together for entertainment the whole family can enjoy.”

TIP: Just because you’ve used every trick and technique known to DM-kind, don’t satisfy yourself too easily. Take one more look and see if there’s something small and subtle you can add that will put your package over the top. See if there’s something that will impress even a hardened mail guy like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

REMINDER
Last chance to subscribe to Rants ‘N Raves before the next issue comes out. Email me if you want to get on the list.

GENIUS + NEWSLETTER + SEE YOU

2008-05-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

GENIUS
In case you missed the news, yours truly has been named a "Copywriting Genius" by the American Writers & Artists Institute.

My interview and an analysis of a control package I worked on are featured in the most recent issue of their newsletter. (A subscription costs almost $500/year but it's an excellent publication.)

If you'd like a pdf – for free – let me know. It should be available sometime this month.

NEWSLETTER
The next issue of Rants 'N Raves will be out towards the end of May. If you're not on the list and would like to receive it, drop me a line.

SEE YOU ON THE 19th
I'm going to be in Toronto on business. So my next blog will be posted on May 19th.

Thanks for dropping by today. I look forward to you seeing me in two weeks.

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

DON'T FORGET + NO CAN PULL

2008-04-28T00:21:00.000-07:00

DON’T FORGET THE KITCHEN SINK
You’ve probably noticed – freemiums from non-profit organizations have been getting a lot more extravagant over the past couple of years.

Ahead of Christmas, it’s not unusual to get two or three weighty packages of greeting cards and envelopes in a single day, not to mention other packages of labels with note pads.

Then the quantity of gifts drops precipitously until mid-fall. Maybe that’s what prompted the Alzheimer Society to decide to fill a void.

Last week I received a hefty package from them containing 13 greeting cards, 13 envelopes, a sheet of stickers depicting forget-me-nots, and two note pads. Who could avoid noticing their package among the half dozen or so thin #10 mailings in that day’s mail? And, with no other gifts in sight, who could resist opening their envelope?

TIP: As one of my middle school teachers constantly reminded my class, “Circumstances alter cases.” So while you can make a case that it’s effective to mail expensive premium packages ahead of Christmas, the circumstance is that almost every other non-profit is doing the same thing…so you’re not going to be the DM powerhouse.

But send out a whack of material when the circumstance is that no one else is, and you’ve got yourself a strong case for success.

NO CAN PULL
Toyota sent me a nifty self-mailer with a car & street scene on the front and a place to ‘pull here’. I love involvement devices, so I pulled where I was instructed, so I could see what would be revealed.

And I pulled. And I pulled. And pulled.

Finally, I pulled the entire mailer apart. That’s when I discovered that the panel that was designed to slide, had been glued down.

TIP: Production bells and whistles like sliding panels can be highly effective. But they have to work! Someone needs to be on the production line as pieces are assembled, testing to see that they’re not stuck in neutral like the Toyota piece.

Glued panels frustrate the drive-train out of DM recipients like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

BAGGED + WHY SUBSCRIBE + MY BAD

2008-04-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

LUNCH BAG ENLIGHTENMENT
Last week I received something unusual – a brown paper lunch bag as addressed mail.

On the front was the teaser, “What are thousands of Canadian kids afraid of at lunchtime?” And there was the logo from the Canadian Feed The Children people.

Inside, were a donation form and BRE, and a two-page letter explaining the problem of poverty-stricken schoolchildren not getting the nutrition they need. Nice work!

TIP: Plenty of nonprofit organizations have strong cases to make. But if you can find a relevant way to stand out from the crowd, you’re going to hit prospects with a one-two punch: your case for donating…plus the added benefit of the cool factor.

And no matter how serious the subject manner, people like to be impressed, intrigued or sometimes even entertained a little.

WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Business Week magazine sent me a white #10 envelope, using a label for the addressing information. Not too impressive.

There was a BRE within the outer envelope and an 8-1/2 X 11 sheet featuring a perforated order form. Above the form, they listed what I could receive and how much it would cost me.

To say I wasn’t as excited as I’d been over Feed The Children’s lunch bag would be an executive-level understatement.

The deal sounded pretty good, though. I could get 5 reports along with a 50-week subscription for just $35 vs the cover price of $335.52

I’m familiar with Business Week so I was able to make a halfway intelligent decision. But what about recipients who don’t know the mag? How could they possibly tell whether they’re getting the deal of the century or being invited to squandor their money?

TIP: Don’t presume that everyone’s familiar with your product or service. There are new consumers coming along every day who may have never heard of you. Err on the side of providing additional info even if it’s wasted on the majority of people. Or at least feature your web site URL! (Business Week didn't.)

MY BAD
Last week I questioned ING Direct for requiring my social insurance number. It turns out that financial institutions need it if you’re opening up an interest-earning account, so they can prepare a tax form.

But that still doesn’t explain why they insisted that I tell them my occupation. Prospects want to know why, especially the one named…

Dr. Bob”
symbiomarketing@telus.net

WHY + NON-PROFITS

2008-04-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

“WHY SHOULD I?” PART ONE.
I received The ‘Ove’ Glove as a present recently. You’ve probably seen it advertised on TV, showing how it helps you avoid burned hands in the kitchen.

Within the packaging was a Purchase Registration form, asking for all my contact information PLUS the answers to a host of questions, e.g. what do I like best about it, do I plan to purchase a second one, etc.

I’m all for market research and was willing to dedicate 5 minutes or so to fill out and return their questionnaire. But then I saw the reply envelope. They want me to pay the freight to get the questionnaire back to them!

Why should I?

“WHY SHOULD I?” PART TWO.
ING Direct mailed me a fairly compelling acquisition package. The application form was short and simple, and I can envision that a lot of people might be tempted to fill it out so they can join the ranks of ING Direct customers.

But I was dumbfounded.

It was optional for me to tell them how long I wanted my money invested for. And I didn’t need to tell them my phone number or email address (even though ING Direct is an online bank and you’d think they’d want my e-address).

But while they didn't want that info, they insisted that I give them my Social Insurance Number. Hey, only the government requires that, because it provides access to wide-ranging personal information. They also insisted that I tell them my occupation; otherwise, I can't become a customer.

Give you sensitive details about myself, Mr. ING Direct? Why should I?

TIP: People don’t mind doing things if you give them a good reason. It’s the same with providing them with information. But one of three things is required: (1) there has to be a perceived benefit (2) it has to make obvious sense or (3) you have to give them a rationale behind the request.

Otherwise, the respondent-to-be is going to ask one very important question: Why should I?

NON-PROFITS
Does the same tip hold true for non-profit organizations? Absolutely.

You see some of them asking questions on their surveys that leave you shaking your head as to why they would want that information. They're questions that certainly leave me asking, “Why should…

Dr. Bob?”
symbiomarketing@telus.net

CLASSLESS +TOO CUTE

2008-04-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

NO CLASS
Last week, I sang the praises of Capital One for their highly elegant mailing. CIBC Wood Gundy could take a lesson from them.

I received a large envelope from them last week and, although the postage was first class, the OE wasn’t – they’d used a label for addressing!

Inside was a two-sided sheet. The front had a photo of a stock market mob scene and hinted that the mailer was offering a seminar about the credit crunch. The back gave details about how one of their investment advisors was willing to educate invitees to the event.

There was nothing wrong with the mailing, per se. I’ve seen 472,396 similar mailings over the years. What got me was that the seminar was restricted to those with a minimum $250,000 investment portfolio. If they’re desperately seeking Daddy Bigbucks, why didn’t they produce a package at least half as distinguished as that of Capital One?

TIP: You can sometimes achieve your objective by being overly classy for a particular audience. But you can never succeed in business by sending an upscale audience a downscale mailing.

TOO CUTESY
I received a package from the Canadian Liver Foundation that’s put me into the same camp as those who contend that it’s best to offer outer envelopes with no teaser. Why?

The CLF’s teaser shows a drawing of a closed door. Beside the door frame there’s a line drawing of a child’s profile. Beyond it are three lines accompanied by some unreadable type.

The copy below reads, “LIVERight. Learn How.”

What?!

Being confounded by the verbal and visual teaser, I was sorely tempted to chuck the package. But being in the DM business, I investigated further.

It turns out that the letter is very informative. They make a strong case for support. And eventually you figure out that what they were depicting was a kid’s growth chart in which his abdomen becomes distended due to liver problems. So why didn’t they come out and say so?

TIP: Don’t present coined words/phrases like ‘LIVERight” in the hope of impressing or intriguing your audience. If you have a good story to tell, just tell it.

And if a drawing requires an explanation to be understood, it really needs to be thrown in the garbage before it sees the light of day. Otherwise, you’ll be destroying the grey cells of people like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

CLASSY PROMO + EPILEPTIC SENIORS

2008-03-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

Before getting on to the DM postings today, let me say thanks for coming back after my few weeks’ blog vacation. We’re now back to regular Monday blogging.

ONE CLASSY PROMO

Like everyone else with a pulse, I get boatloads of credit card promos each month. But one I received recently not only stood out among them…it stood out among all my other mail. It was from Capital One.

What was so immediately striking was the outer envelope. Jet black front and back, with a logo and postal permit printed in silver metallic ink on the face, and the return address printed on the flap in the same way. Talk about compelling. And classy.

They used more metallic ink on the letter, which made their sales points stand out even more. And for good measure, they affixed a heavy cardboard faux credit card onto the top of the letter.

TIP: If your competitors are screaming features and benefits like carnival barkers, try whispering in a distinguished way. You’ll be heard by more prospects than the rest of them combined.

EPILEPTIC SENIORS
Epilepsy Canada caught my attention with their latest package two ways: (1) it was thick, so obviously there was something inside besides a letter (2) the OE asked, “Did you know at 65 the risk increases?”

I didn’t know that seniors are at greater risk of developing epilepsy, so I opened up the package to learn more.

Inside, was notepaper done with the same tea-stain colouration and doily visual that was featured on the OE and the first page of the letter. Because they were talking about seniors, the doily motif made some sense, even if it is outdated by half a century or so.

Complementing the notepaper were blank envelopes. Yep, they too had the same colour and doilies as the other components. So all elements of the package held together well.

And with the copy containing useful information about the increased risk of seniors developing epilepsy, it was an effective one-two punch – visual plus cerebral appeal.

TIP: Go big or go home. Pick your horse and ride it to the finish line. Regardless of which of the preceding clichés you prefer, do what Epilepsy Canada did. Develop a theme and exploit it for all it’s worth. And if you have genuine news for people…give it to them. You’ll keep their interest and you’ll earn their gratitude.

At least you will if your target is anything like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

SEE YOU ON THE 31st

2008-03-24T12:10:00.001-07:00

Just a reminder that Direct Marketing Weekly will be back on Monday, March 31. See you then!
Dr. Bob

OGILVY + DARE + WEB + NO BLOG

2008-03-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

OGILVY SAID IT BEST
Decades ago, ad guru David Ogilvy declared, “You cannot bore customers into buying your product.” Despite the wisdom of those words, there’s a certain non-profit organization that’s determined to prove him wrong.

They keep sending me the same renewal package – with the same letter and the same enclosures – over and over. Plus, they keep sending it to my wife. Between us, we must be getting the same package half a dozen times a month. Thanks to them, we now have enough address labels to wallpaper a house.

TIP: If you want recipients to think you’re really writing to them one-to-one (your best chance for a positive response), change the letter copy…change the envelope…change the enclosures. And figure that if someone has said ‘no’ to a package more than a couple of times, chances are that they’re going to keep saying ‘no’ the next dozen times.

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT
The other day I came home to find a promo piece hanging from my doorknob. There was no way to miss seeing it. There was no way to avoid touching it. And once it was in- hand, I couldn’t resist reading it.

It was from Dare the cookie people, offering $1 off the price of Vinta Snacks (whatever they are) and the opportunity to win a $10,000 landscaping package. Question for Dare – what does landscaping have to do with eating cookies?

Regardless, the piece got me thinking. In all my years in this business, I can’t recall ever running a campaign involving a door hanger. Maybe I should recommend it to a client. The cost of hand-placing hangers onto doorknobs has got to be pretty high, but maybe the results justify the cost.

TIP: In this day and age of corporate me-tooness, consider zigging instead of zagging. At least test doing something different every once in a while. After all, breakthroughs aren’t born from doing the same thing as everyone else or repeating your same promo (see posting above).

WEB SITE
Have you checked out my revamped web site? Go to: http://www.symbiomarketing.com

NO BLOG COMING
Yours truly is going to be away for the next couple of weeks and unable to write the blog. So I’ll see you back here on Monday, March 30th. Until then, best wishes from…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NICKEL'S WORTH + QUICK ANSWER

2008-03-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

GETTING THEIR NICKEL’S WORTH

For some time now, UNICEF has used an acquisition mailing that features a nickel showing through the window of a #10 envelope.

The teaser used to read something like, “This nickel could save a child’s life.” I ranted that the line made me retort, ”Then why are you giving it to me?!”

They’ve since changed it to the Dr. Bob-approved, “A nickel could save a child’s life”. But the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada hasn’t learned from UNICEF.

On Wednesday I received packages from both organizations. Yes, they both featured a 5-cent piece, but the teaser of the MS mailing read, “This nickel can help end MS.” So I repeat, “Then why are you giving it to me?!”

TIP #1: A single word can have a big impact on results, so choose each one with care. As Mark Twain once observed, “The difference between ‘lightning’ and ‘lightning bug’ is one word.”

TIP #2: If you’re going to use the same creative approach as a competitor, don’t be so obvious about it or you’ll be accused, justifiably so, as being a copycat. ALSO, don’t mail it at the same time – you’ll end up hurting both causes.

QUICK ANSWER

I received a sealed one-fold cardboard self-mailer showing a game card entitled “Quick Trivia”. It asked, “How many Internet users are there in North America?”

Being a curious soul, I slit the seal and opened the mailer. At the top was another depiction of a game card. This one read, “As of November 30, 2007, there were 237,168,545 Internet users – 18.8% of the world’s Internet users are in North America.”

When I awoke from the copy-induced snooze, I read the headline below it: “The only way to get your answers faster is with Shaw High-Speed Internet.”

TIP: If you’re pushing quickness, make the copy short and quick to read. The mailer would have been much more effective if the interior card had said simply, “237,168,545”, followed by “The only way to get your answers faster…”

That would have given readers a quick question, a quick answer, and a quick piece of information. And I predict that Shaw would have landed some new customers quite quickly. At least they would have if the recipients were anything like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

What? You Call This A Posting?!

2008-02-25T09:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks very much for checking out my blog today. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do a new posting for Feb 25.

Please check back next Monday (March 3rd) though. I'll try to have a better-than-ever one up for you. Thanks again.

Dr. Bob

FINANCIAL FLOWERS + WHATSIZNAME

2008-02-18T10:33:00.000-08:00

FINANCIAL FLOWERS
Not many organizations are gutsy enough (stupid enough?) to use orange as their corporate colour. But at least one is succeeding where so many others have failed.

I’m talking about virtual financial bank ING Direct. And one big reason for their success is the creative they use, whether it be simple straight-talking TV commercials or arresting direct mail.

They sent me a 6-1/8 X 9-5/8” vertical envelope with a circular second window on the back. Through it, I could see an orange ‘flower’ saying, “Plant me.”

I just had to open the package to confirm that ING was continuing to be honest even when using a tricky little device.

True to their word, the paper flower they’d sent could be planted. And I could watch it grow over the next 1-4 weeks…just like I could watch my money grow if I bought the investment vehicle they were promoting.

TIP #1: if your business is virtual, you have to combat people’s natural suspicions. So be disarmingly up-front at every possible opportunity…like ING.

TIP #2: if you’re using an involvement device of any kind, make sure it’s relevant to your overall message.

TIP #3: do something unexpected. ING could have sent flower seeds like so many direct mailers have in the past. Instead, they sent a paper flower containing hidden seeds that are released when the flower’s immersed in water. Cool.

WHAT’S MY NAME?
A charity sent me a renewal package last week. It was very well written. But something about it bothered me.

It was addressed to” Mr. Bob Knight”. The salutation read, “Dear Mr. Knight.” But a paragraph on the first page began, “Bob, as soon as I read this note…”

TIP: Go ahead and use personalization in more than one place on your letter. But decide what you’re going to call the recipient. If you call him one thing one time and something different the next, the poor reader won’t know how personal your relationship is. That can cause confusion among people like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NOT BELIEVABLE + WRONG IMPRESSION + SORRY

2008-02-11T02:02:00.000-08:00

NOT BELIEVEABLE
Whenever you send a direct mail letter, you want it to appear to be a genuine, personal message from one person to another…because that kind of letter typically generates a higher response rate and helps strengthen the relationship between sender and recipient.

Obviously there’s at least one non-profit out there that either disagrees with that philosophy or hasn’t heard of it.

I made a donation to this organization in the fall and received a receipt with a thank-you letter in November. About the same time, I made another donation to their cause. The next month I got another receipt…and the self-same thank you letter.

As a result, my belief that they know me and truly value my help is pretty much shattered. So are the chances that I’ll be donating to them again any time soon.

TIP: Don’t keep sending the same ‘thank you’ message to frequent donors…or soon you’ll no longer have occasion to thank them.

WRONG IMPRESSION
I’ve ranted before about MBNA sending packages with teasers reading, “Important Information Enclosed”…and how, until I got wise, I’d open up the envelope thinking it contained my statement. But it would only be sales materials.

Now they have a new technique to trick me, evidenced by a package I received last week.

The envelope still features the aforementioned teaser. But they’ve added a red stenciled box reading, “2nd Attempt.” It made me – and probably my letter carrier – think I’d missed a payment.

So how did they justify the perceived knock on my integrity? By saying that, “This is your second chance to say ‘Yes’ and save.”

Dear MBNA, I didn’t say ‘yes’ the first time because I wasn’t interested in your offer. I’m saying ‘no’ this time with even greater joy, because of your tactics. In fact, I’m canceling my card because of this and the fact that you phoned me 5 times within the past 11 days…and I’m sick of trying to get you to understand a simple two-letter word.”

TIP: When you’re prospecting, go ahead and push the DM envelope; you don’t have much to lose. But tread carefully when you’re dealing with loyal customers. They might just cease to be customers at all.

SORRY
Sorry! I usually alert blog readers when I’m about to send out my Rants ‘N Raves newsletter, so any non-subscribers can sign up in time. Last week, though, I sent it off without saying a word.

If you’re not yet a Rants ‘N Raves subscriber but want to become one – and receive the last issue – just get in touch with…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

MAKE UP YOUR MIND + WHICH BONUS?

2008-02-04T11:26:00.000-08:00

PICK YOUR FORMAT. AND STICK WITH IT.

I received a direct mail package from a local charity that has me a bit perplexed.

For one thing, they addressed me as “B Knight” and prefaced it with “Dear”. Now, really, how dear can I be to them if they call me by my initial?

The other thing that got me was the format of the letter. Page 1 involved bolded, centered subheads. Fine. But pages 2, 3 and 4 didn’t. That means that, just as my mind prepares itself to read in a certain manner, they pull the rug out from under it.

Page 1 also featured a photo with text surrounding it top, bottom and on one side. Because of that, I was prepared for an illustrated letter throughout. But, no. The remaining three pages have nothing but type.

TIP: There are several acceptable formats for letters. But starting with one format and then switching to another is definitely in the unacceptable category. Choose your format horse and ride it all the way to the finish line.

BONUS TIME
Maclean’s Magazine, which used to promote itself as “Canada’s Newsmagazine”, sent me a sample issue and a couple of pretty good offers featured in the accompanying letter.

If I subscribed now, I’d only pay $39.95 per year, a saving of $239.70 compared to the newsstand price. Plus, I’d get an FM radio, a Sudoku game unit and 2 free issues. I was quite excited…until I went to their web site to learn more.

Online, they’re offering a 6 month subscription for $19.95 – less than half the one-year bonus rate – AND a gift and 4 free issues.

Having seen what Maclean’s is offering to the world, I don’t feel so special any more. In addition, I’m confused. And the more confused I get, the less likely I am to say ‘yes’ to either offer.

TIP: If you’re going to make an offer through the mail, do one of two things.
Option 1: make it identical to what’s being offered on your web site
Option 2: make it dramatically different – and better – than what your web site’s offering.

In the latter case, it will allow you to track the source of the sale, plus it will lead mail recipients to feel that they really are being offered something very special. That’s important when you’re dealing with potential subscribers like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

STROKES + GLUE

2008-01-28T12:38:00.000-08:00

STROKES AND MORE
The Heart & Stroke Foundation for my region sent me a #10 mailing that stood out from the rest of my day's mail, for two reasons:

1) The front of the envelope was solid red, contrasting with the majority of OEs that are white
2) On the front and back they told me that, inside, was a Personal Medical Emergency Card. For good measure, on the reverse, they displayed one.

Between the arresting colour and the promise of something that could benefit me, I had to open up the package. And I wasn't disappointed.

The card detailed the warning signs of stroke and contained blanks for me to fill in my medical and contact info. Making it even more appealing, the four-panel folder was housed in a clear plastic sleeve.

TIP: A package doesn't have to be wildly creative to be impactful. It just has to stand out from the crowd either visually or verbally. Something as simple as envelope colour and size can make a real difference, without costing the farm to produce.

STUCK ON GLUE
Uniglobe Advance Travel sent me what appeared to be a fair-sized post card. The addressing side mentioned river cruises to Europe, China and Russia. The back had a glory shot of a river and centuries-old building, along with a little more bumph about cruising.

But where was the call to action? Where was the urgency? They had a little bit of 'tell' but virtually no 'sell'.

I'd bet ruples to perogies that the vast majority of recipients would glance at the front and back, then chuck the piece into the recycle bin. Few people would, like me, start wondering why the paper stock was so thick and, by doing so, discover that the post card was actually a sealed folder.

TIP: Involvement devices like sealing on folders can work well. But it has to be obvious to recipients that there is some action required on their part (e.g. lift a tab) or you have to tell people, "Look inside."

Not everybody examines their direct mail the way a DM professional does, especially one named...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NEWSLETTERS + TOP RATE

2008-01-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

WHEN IS A NEWSLETTER BAD NEWS?
Answer: When you count on it to fill your fundraising coffers. I'll explain...

I donated to a certain charity about a year ago. Not knowing much about them, I didn't know what to expect. But over time I've become increasingly surprised.

Every couple of months I receive another newsletter from them...but no DM package asking for another donation. The closest thing to an ask comes in the form of an envelope teaser on the OE holding the newsletter, and a donation form built into the publication. As a result, I haven't sent a second donation.

TIP: When surveyed about why people give to particular charities, the #1 reason given is: "I was asked." So if you want more donations, ask for them.

TOP RATE/BOTTOM RATE
On the same day last week, I received two #10 packages, neither of which featured a teaser. The OE from citibank was white; the one from Royal Bank was kraft.

The first thing I saw when I looked at citi's letter was, "0.9% on balance transfers until January 2009". The first thing I saw with Royal's was, "Low 1.9% Introductory Rate. Now for 9 months."

The next thing I noticed was that citi featured a comparison chart showing how much I could save with them vs carrying a balance with other typical credit cards. Royal didn't have such a benefits chart; instead, they had a list of features.

I'm not in the market for another credit card but if I were, I'm sure I'd leap at citi's just because, at a glance, 0.9% looks smaller than 1.9%. And I'll bet my strategic stethoscope that most people will do the same...even though, when you read the fine print, citi's monthly interest charge on purchases is a whopping 19.9%.

TIP #1: If you're going to scream a number, make sure it sounds better than the competitor's. Most people don't bother to examine the details.

TIP #2: A list of benefits outsells a list of features every time.

TIP #3: If you're in the credit card business and are trying to do a little smoke-and-mirrors routine, don't darken the mailbox of someone who reads the fine print. I'm talking about someone like...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NO 'THANKS' + WHO ARE YOU?

2008-01-14T01:07:00.000-08:00

NO ‘THANKS’
If you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll know that I ran a Receipt Race with nonprofit organizations in November.

On the 12th of that month I made donations to 12 organizations, then waited to see which ones were quickest at getting back to me with a receipt and thank-you note.

The hands-down winner was the Canadian Cancer Society, which gave me my receipt within 8 days. UNHCR, which I mentioned in last week’s blog, took 56 days to respond. But bad as that sounds – there’s one charity that I STILL haven’t heard from…more than 2 months later!

And, if you're interested, there was as big a gap in the quality of thank-you packages as there was between the time frames.

Tip – if you’re a nonprofit organization, get your receipts out ASAP. Forget about holding onto them until you can send them out en masse to qualify for a postage discount. You’ll end up saving pennies and costing yourself dollars.

WHO ARE YOU?
Last week I got an email from an organization called The Canada 20/20 Panel.

Who are they, you ask? I don’t know!

They say that I agreed to join their panel and share my opinions on various and sundry topics. But if I ever did agree, it was so long ago that I’ve forgotten. Maybe they did once have me in the palm of their survey hands, but not now.

Tip – when you sign someone up for something, whether it’s to subscribe to your newsletter or to receive promotional news, get back to respondents FAST. Wait months or even weeks and people forget what they’ve agreed to. They even forget who you are. Like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

BACK AGAIN+2 TALES+UN

2008-01-07T01:52:00.000-08:00

BACK AT IT
Yes, the holidays are over and the new year is in full swing. So it’s back to my regular Monday blog. Thanks for returning for my first posting of ’08.

A TALE OF 2 GREETINGS
Before Christmas, I received standout holiday greetings from two companies I’m familiar with.

The first was from Billy Sharma of Designers Inc. Inside his 5-3/4 X 4-1/2 outer envelope was a letter and a 2-1/2 X 4-1/4 envelope. Inside it, was a magnifying glass with a message about it being compliments of Billy. His letter extended holiday greetings and explained how the magnifier was a symbol of the past, present and future.

My reaction? I thought it was thoughtful and innovative.

The other mailing, similarly sized, was from a printing company – a greeting card with my name featured on the front and inside. I was quite pleased to receive it…until I saw the back of the card.

It bragged about how the card had been personalized using their new high speed colour laser printer. That left me with two questions.

First, what were they doing including a sales message with their supposedly nice Christmas greeting? Second, and even more puzzling, why were they telling me that the card really wasn’t personalized…that it was produced by some cold machine?

Judgment: While Billy’s mailing was symbiotic, the printing company’s was parasitic. Yea to the former, boo to the latter.

UN IN BED WITH AMAZON
A reader recently sent me a self-mailer from the United Nations Refugee Agency (UNHCR). I was particularly interested for two reasons:

1) I wrote a number of fundraising packages for them when they were a client of an agency I’ve freelanced for
2) The mailer didn’t arrive via the mail – it was enclosed with a shipment of books from Amazon.com

I’ve ordered books from Amazon but have never received any promotional materials from either a commercial or non-profit organization. So maybe it’s something new. In any event, it’s quite an intriguing concept.

I just wonder how much UNHCR had to pay and, also, whether Amazon customers will be ticked off because they were sent the appeal, with the customer paying the freight.

If you know anything about it and whether it’s working, someone would love to hear from you. His name is…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

GRINCH + SEE YOU IN '08

2007-12-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Today's posting doesn't have anything to do with sending out direct mail. Instead, it involves children receiving it...because
I've decided to be season-appropriate and feature an item from my most recent newsletter (if you don't subscribe, email me and I'll send you the latest issue). Here's the piece:

THE GRINCH WHO STOLE SANTA’S CORNER
Normally in my December newsletter, I tip my cap to Canada Post for its
complimentary mail-a-letter-to-Santa program. It’s great. And the volunteers
deserve an extra candy cane for ensuring that Santa’s replies get back to
kids.

But this year there isn’t a permanent link to Santa’s Corner on the home
page. (Just now I discovered that the page is featured among several in an
ever-changing parade of messages that quickly appear and disappear. If you
don’t happen to time your visit right, you won’t have a clue that
Santa’s Corner still exists.)

Because there’s no permanent link, I had to search the whole site for 15
minutes before stumbling onto the right page via a press release:
http://www1.canadapost.ca/dec/santa/writesanta/default-e.asp

On a merrier note…if you have little ones, be sure to check out
http://www.noradsanta.org Right now there are games. And beginning the
morning of Dec 24th, kids can track Santa as he makes his way around the
world.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
This is my last posting for 2007. I look forward to seeing you in the New Year.

Best wishes for a wonderful holiday season, from...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NEWSLETTER + QUESTIONS + FOLIO FOLK

2007-12-10T00:05:00.000-08:00

RANTS ‘N RAVES
The next issue of my “Rants ‘N Raves” newsletter is going out this week. If you’re not yet a subscriber, email me at: symbiomarketing@telus.net

QUESTIONS
“Which affects more Canadians: Ovarian Cancer, Leukemia, Muscular Dystrophy, Lupus?”

That’s the question Lupus Canada asked on the outer envelope of their most recent mailing. And the answer given – Lupus.

I hadn’t known that and I doubt if most recipients of the package were aware of it before receiving the mailing. Of course, once an envelope tells you that you’re misinformed, you simply have to open it up to see what else you don’t know.

TIP: Questions are often a good way to get attention and create reader involvement. But avoid questions that can be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, since that ends the involvement and/or you might not get the answer you’re hoping for.

Instead, go for an informative little Q & A like Lupus Canada did, or ask an open-ended question.

FOLIO
I received a package from The Folio Society with, “An exclusive invitation from England’s leading publisher of fine books” written on the front of the OE. On the back, there’s a photo of two thesauruses (thesauri?) and a statement that they can be mine for free.

Inside the package there are colourful book catalogue sheets, a lift note that had been written by the late author Robertson Davies, an invitation/reply card, and a 4-page letter.

It’s all very dignified, from the design to the language in the copy. And even though the letter presents more offers, there are no screaming call-outs or starbursts. Obviously these people respect their audience’s intelligence.

I’ve seen this package in the past and expect it’s working well for them…certainly well enough for them to keep repeating it.

TIP: Know your audience and address them accordingly. Even though you might want to grab Mr. Target by the lapels and shake him into submission with your outstanding, limited-time offer, resist the temptation if you’re promoting a high-end product.

By presenting such a rationale and restrained sales argument for buying upper end books, the Folio Society people are generating considerable new business from readers like…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

TRUMP TIPS+1-TRICK PONIES+NEWSLETTER

2007-12-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

TIPS FROM TRUMP
Whenever I get mail addressed to someone who used to own my house, and whose forwarding address I don’t have, I recycle it. But last week I just had to get nosey and open their mail. That’s because a man who used to live here was sent a very unique invitation-size envelope.

The upper left of the OE read, “Donald J. Trump, New York City”. I’d never seen that before.

The envelope featured a live stamp. The addressee’s name was written in a blue-ink handwriting font. And the flap had The Donald’s return address, again in a handwriting font, but this time in gold ink.

Inside were two free tickets to his upcoming seminar, along with an invitation card that explained all the details.

Normally I wouldn’t consider attending a get-rich-quick presentation. But if this were an opportunity to see the man himself, I thought I might break my rule. So I searched diligently for confirmation that The Donald would indeed be there.

Alas, the closest I could come to the truth was copy written in small type at the bottom of the invitation: “Donald will be here recorded live”.

What does that mean?! How is that even possible? He’s either going to be there or not. It’s either going to be a recorded message or a live Trump appearance. I decided not to waste my time finding out.

TIP: If you want to generate as much traffic as possible to an event and don’t care about ticking off a percentage of disappointed attendees, go ahead and replicate the Trump approach. But if you’re wanting to attract a high percentage of genuine, qualified customers, tell them up-front what they’ll be getting – “here recorded live” won’t cut it.

ONE-TRICK PONY?
For non-profit organizations, an emotionally touching true story can generate a lot of donations. I recall being affected by one, in particular, a couple of years ago.

I presume that a lot of other people were moved by that sad tale too, because the organization repeated the story in a mailing they sent me a few days ago.

Is there a problem with that?

There is if people like your scribe conclude, after receiving the same story, that you only have one tale to tell. It causes them to think that yours isn’t such a powerful organization after all. It’s like a commercial organization only citing one testimonial from a satisfied customer.

TIP: If you’re going to use human interest stories, make sure you have enough to make it appear that your organization is having an impact on a lot of people…not just on one.

NEWSLETTER TIME
The next issue of my “Rants ‘N Raves” newsletter will be coming out shortly. If you’re not yet a subscriber, get in touch with…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Nice. Dumb. Plus...

2007-11-26T00:23:00.000-08:00

NICE
Last week, I received a mailing from Rogers Wireless, my cell phone company. And as I discovered when I saw the flap of the envelope, it wasn’t just from the company; it was from their President, Rob Bruce.

With it coming from El Presidente, I expected that I was in for bad news – like they wanted to thank me for my loyalty but were raising rates. But no. All Rob wanted to do was say thanks, tell me how they’re striving to offer even better service in future, and to wish me happy holidays.

TIP: If you want people to be more responsive to your sales mailings, try sending them something every once in a while that doesn’t try to sell them anything. After receiving a “just thought I’d drop you a note” mailing, people will keep looking for more of the same.

DUMB
Coincidently, I also received a package from the Toronto Blue Jays, who play in the Rogers Centre in Toronto, which is owned by Rogers Wireless’s parent company.

And why were the Jays writing me? To try and talk me into buying a pack of 10 or 15 tickets to see them play…3000 miles away!

OK, I was at a couple of Jays games this year but, prior to that, I hadn’t been in about 20 years. So why did they waste their money sending me a full colour package of materials?

Save your dough on mailings like these, Jays, and spend it on players. Maybe you’ll field a better team next year and people will be begging you for tickets.

TIP: Sure, look under rocks to find new potential customers. But also use a little common sense.

GOOD START. QUESTIONABLE FINISH.
The Canadian Wildlife Federation sent me a glorious, colorful calendar featuring animal photos. It led me to say to myself, are they crazy spending this kind of money on a prospecting campaign?

But they had the wisdom to write in their first sentence, “When we began sending out these free calendars, people said we were crazy!”

Good move! They disarmed me totally. So I kept on reading to see what other arguments of mine they could overcome.

It was a pretty decent letter. But it ended with a PS. Which was followed by a PPS. Which was followed by a PPPS.

I’ve tested PPS’s and have never found that they worked as well as a singular postscript. If the PPPS works in this mailing, I sure hope they’ll publish the results. They may turn at least one skeptic into a believer. His name would be…

Dr. Bob
P.S. Questions? Email me at symbiomarketing@telus.net
P.P.S. Comments? Same thing.
P.P.P.S. Want to subscribe to my “Rants ‘N Raves” newsletter? Ditto.
P.P.P.P.S. OK, enough.

TWO TIPS

2007-11-19T08:23:00.000-08:00

1) PERSONALIZATION+INVOLVEMENT

Personalization nearly always pays for itself. So do good involvement devices.
But if you want to really hit a home run, try a twist on both of them…like
the Canadian Food for the Hungry International did.

Someone – the sponsor of three children in Uganda – sent me CFHI's latest
package. I’m impressed by it.

It contains three Christmas cards, each featuring the Ugandan words for
“Merry Christmas.” But they didn’t stop there; they personalized the front
of each card with the actual name of the child being sponsored!

Then, inside, the cards have room for you to write a message and sign your
name – a brilliant twist on the popular hospital fundraising involvement
device of writing a message on a Christmas ornament for patients and sending
it back with a donation.

2) DON’T OVERTARGET

Targeting a narrow market is fine. But sometimes you don’t have to spend the
money on it. For example...

I was surprised to receive an unaddressed self-mailer promoting the
Accu-Chek blood glucose monitor for diabetics.

At first I thought it was a waste of money to fill mailboxes with a message
that wouldn’t appeal to most people. Then I recalled some stats about the
prevalence of the disease. Something like 10% of people aged 20-60 have it,
and over 20% of people older than that have diabetes.

So the manufacturer of the Accu-Chek wisely said to themselves, “We can
reach 10-20% of our target market with a cheap, unaddressed self-mailer.
Why pay for segmenting?” Then, to extend its appeal further, the headline reads,
“If anyone you know has diabetes…” Now they’re reaching 30%, 40% or more
of the interested population!

The next time you’re looking at putting out a targeted mailing, ask yourself
if your market is really so small that you need to spend the money on a
highly segmented list. You might be surprised. Like Accu-Chek and…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

WHAT GIFT? + NO-KEY

2007-11-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

YOU CALL THAT A GIFT?

A non-profit organization sent me a package with an OE teaser reading, "Special 50th Anniversary Gift Enclosed!" Eager with anticipation of what kind of present they were bestowing upon me, I tore into the envelope.

Lunchbag letdown!

Inside all I found was a letter, a BRE and a note pad featuring the organization's logo, contact info and slogan. Each page of the pad was a to-do list. And the first 'to do' on each page was already filled in – a reminder for me to send THEM "a special 50th Anniversary gift."

I like the work that this organization does and I'd like to help them out. But there's no way I can send them a donation. It would just encourage them to continue building up prospects' hopes, then dashing them.

LOW KEY vs NO KEY

I received an invitation size envelope that intrigued me. And, like the previously mentioned package, it disappointed me.

For starters in the intrigue area, my name and address were printed in red. And the upper left corner read, "The Mountain, Framingham, MA" which had me thinking the package was from a mountain resort in Maine.

But overprinting the international mail postal indicia was a cancellation by the post office that read, "N'oublions Pas/Lest We Forget" – the bilingual Canadian slogan for Remembrance Day. And the back had a full return address: "Bose" and a Canadian address.

Who was this from, I wondered? And who was sending it?

It only featured one small enclosure – a small card with front copy that read, "Be among the first to know", accompanied by a blurred photo of something. A string of pearls? A line of night time traffic?

The back copy gave me the answers. It was from the Bose speaker store and they were inviting me to check out their 'new product event' on two dates. That should be exciting news. But it sure didn't look like it, visually, or sound like it verbally.

MAYBE I could understand a very upscale jewellery store being so low key. But an audio speaker store? Who do they think they're kidding? Not...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

COOL MAILER + CANCER SENSE

2007-11-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

COOL MAILER

For those of you who don’t live and work in the area, Shaw is a company that provides TV cable, Internet and home phone service.

They’re also the folks who have the terrific TV commercials and web site I mentioned in a recent issue of my newsletter…the ones featuring the Snailskis (http://www.snailskis.com)

Last week, Shaw sent me a self-mailer that’s pretty compelling. The front only features the recipient’s name and address, so you’re pretty much compelled to turn it over to see if there’s anything more interesting.

The other side is a full colour shot of a sofa with the headline, “There are ways to save money all over your home. And Shaw will help you find them.”

Lift the cushions of the cardboard couch and you see money lying on the floor, plus their promise to save you money through a joint cable-Internet-phone package.

Then that flap folds down to form three other panels, each of which hypes a different service. That's great because you don't have to slog through a ton of copy if you're only interested in one or two of their offerings.

It’s really pretty simple. And like so many simple executions, it will likely prove to be very effective.

NOW THEIR MAILING MAKE SENSE

Last week, I told you about the nonsensical mailing I’d received from an organization fighting cancer. Well, a few days later I received another package from them.

It had the same sized envelope. Like the previous one, it only featured their logo. And this OE, too, had a live stamp. “Oh boy,” thought your scribe. “what are they sending me this time – a birth announcement?"

Inside was the same donation form. But the rest of the package was very different. Thank goodness.

There was a note from its head, apologizing. He explained that they’d put the wrong card into the previous mailing and that, now, he was enclosing the proper one – an invitation to help them launch a new venture.

Too bad they screwed up in the beginning, though, because that forced them to mail twice. And the mistake doesn’t make them look like the most well-organized non-profit on the planet. Here’s hoping that recipients will be forgiving, or I might have to send the organization a sympathy card from...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Two Bad Mailings. Too bad.

2007-10-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

THE FINANCIAL MAILING
I received a 5 X 9 sheet of cardboard in my mailbox (it isn't classy enough to be called a post card or self-mailer).

One side is red with white reverse type; the other side is white with red type.

One side tells you that if you take this financial institution's credit card you'll get some bonus points. The other side says that each purchase, "helps support the environment." (Don't ask me how because they didn't tell me.) And then it gives a URL.

I'm not going to waste my time going online to find out more and I doubt if many other people will either.

Short copy has its place but the words have to work hard. The copy on this piece is asleep at the switch. I think the creative team was too when they created it.

NO WAY TO FIGHT CANCER
The outer envelope for the package I'm about to describe is pretty good. Unfortunately that's the only thing that's good.

It's an invitation size OE, which gets attention. It's a closed face envelope, which tends to increase results. And there's a live stamp which, likewise, tends to generate higher response rates.

But what's inside from this organization dedicated to fighting cancer? A sympathy card!

At first I had to wrack my brain to recall if a friend or family member had died of the disease recently and the organization was expressing its condolences. But last time I checked, everyone I knew yesterday was alive and kicking today.

The card features the organization's logo on the inside and their name and contact info on the back. So surely they don't consider this to be a premium item that I'll use next time someone close to me kicks the bucket. That would be pretty chintzy.

Is there an explanation anywhere in the package as to what this is all about? Nope. Just a one-sided donation form. Not so much as a request to give or a reason to do so.

I receive a lot of bad DM each week, but these two items have to take the cake. At least that's the opinion of the non-respondent named...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

POSTAGE, CLEAR QUALITY, CHARITY & BUSINESS

2007-10-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

OFFICIAL INDICIA OF…
The Canadian Diabetes Association (CDA) sent me an interesting package: a 5-3/4 X 7-1/4 outer envelope featuring a shot of a red ribbon and, inside, several holiday cards.

But it wasn’t the package per se that caught my imagination. It was the postage area.

Beside the Canada Post indicia, the CDA had its own – a fine black circle with their name in it. It looked as official as the post office’s indicia, which gave the OE an air of authority and of being something special…maybe special enough to open up.

CLEAR QUALITY
I guess I’m a sucker for glassine and plastic.

I received a 5-1/4 X 12-1/4 glassine envelope with my name and address, a teaser and the postal indicia printed right onto it. And I was hooked. I just had to open it up.

Inside was a cardboard sleeve with glassine windows on the front and back. Showing through one was a shot of a high-rise building and, through the other, a photo of the Vancouver skyline.

Beside the city shot, there was a cutaway area where you could use your fingers to slide out the enclosure.

I couldn’t resist and pulled out a 4-3/4 X 36 folder promoting a new condo building. One side had all the sales details. The other was a panoramic shot of Vancouver and the harbour where the building would be constructed – a three foot beauty shot.

But the niftiness of the package didn’t end there. For good measure, the letter – an invitation to attend a preview – was written on plastic. How cool is that!

BUSINESS SENSE AND CHARITABLE THOUGHTS
The Mouth and Foot Painting Artists organization sent me a sample calendar featuring paintings that had been done by their members…by holding a paint brush either in a hand or between toes.

It wasn’t a freemium to guilt me into making a charitable donation (the organization isn’t a charity). It really was a sample to entice me to purchase more of their calendars or some greeting cards, in support of their artists.

They did all the right things, from having one of their artists hand-write the covering letter in blue ink to including that sample. The only thing I found strange was that their prices included shipping and handling.

People are used to adding S&H to the posted price of anything they’re going to buy via mail. So when you see that the MFPA is charging $12.45 for a calendar, you mentally start figuring the total cost will be something like $18. But, no, $12.45 is all-inclusive.

I wonder how many prospective buyers won’t order just because of the organization’s rogue pricing structure. If you have an opinion, feel free to share it with…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Good Non-Profit, Bad Banks, Commercial Killer

2007-10-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

GOOD FOR THIS NON-PROFIT
I've ranted in this blog and my newsletter about a particular non-profit organization that keeps sending me the same prospect mailing over and over again. I must have received the idential mailing from them a half dozen times or more over the past year or so.

There's some wisdom in the adage, "If you don't succeed at first, try, try again." But there's also a saying, "Don't beat a dead horse." Obviously, this organization had never heard of the latter.

But I kept hoping they'd eventually figure it out – that I didn't respond the first couple of times, so I likely wouldn't respond on attempts #5 & 6. And they did finallly get the message!

Last week I received a new mailing from them. The teaser was different. The content of the letter was different. The signatory was different. So I treated the package differently – I read it. And I'm actually thinking I might donate.

"BAD, BANK. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN."
A financial institution that holds a lot of my retirement funds sent me a kraft envelope like those that contain my financial statements. There was no teaser, so I presumed that it was about my funds. Wrong!

It was a sales package, trying to talk me into taking out one of their credit cards.

I also got a package from my main financial institution, using a #10 closed face, envelope. Again, because there was no teaser, I presumed that it was about my financial dealings with them. But it was just their newsletter.

Yes, it's nice that they sent me a newsletter. But if I'd known what was inside the envelope, I would have opened it at my leisure and not ahead of more pressing business. And I wouldn't still be ticked off at them.

Recommendation to any company mailing existing customers – use a teaser to let people know what you're up to. Yes, you might get more envelopes opened by being sneaky. But you'll also end up with more customers who no longer think you're the fine, upstanding organizaiton they use to think you were.

COMMERCIAL KILLER
I'll get into more details in my newsletter later this week, but the jist of this story is – Wendy's has been running a humourous commercial showing people inhaling helium directly from a tank. Some anti-inhalant society has been after them, saying it's not good to encourage people to breathe inhalants. No result.

Someone else wrote the Advertising Standards Council stating that, yes the commercial is really funny, but breathing directly from a helium tank can kill you (it killed a Winnipeg teen a few years ago). Days later, Wendy's wrote them saying the commercial would be off air by the end of the week.

Who was that someone? None other than...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

P.S. So you're sitting there saying, "Hey, that last item wasn't about direct mail!" But actually it was.

It was about how the right message to the right audience at the right time can generate an immediate, desired result...just like more traditional DM campaigns can and should.

CALORIES & POLAR BEARS

2007-10-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

BAD COPY SINCE 1905?

The Leclerc food people, who have apparently been in business for 102 years, sent me a 5 X 9 card featuring two coupons.

The front of the piece is OK, showing five of their products and the coupons. It’s the copy on the back that had me ready to chuck my cookies.

They start off by stating that they’ve been, “making cookies since 1905, later adding granola bars, breakfast cereals and crackers.” Does anybody care about how their product line developed?

Then they say, “Leclerc has the goal of producing great tasting, healthy foods at the heart of their business. We want to offer the consumer a healthy product…”

So in one sentence they refer to Leclerc in the third person. And in the next they refer to themselves in the second person.

But worse, the copy is filled with nothing but verbiage about themselves, what they’re doing and what they’re trying to achieve. The whole thing reads like a mission statement in an annual report….not an enticement to try a delicious product with only 100 calories.

To add insult to injurious copy – the two coupons are attached, yet one of the restrictions is, “May not be joined to other offers.”

And finally, they don’t tell you where to buy their products (I’ve never heard of them before) or how to get in touch with the company. No address. No web site. No toll-free number…

POLAR BEARS
It wasn’t that long ago that four-color printing was shunned by just about every non-profit organization with any experience in DM fundraising. The rationale: donors don’t want to see their money being wasted on fancy production.

Many donors still feel that way when there’s no obvious reason for using processed color. But with more non-profits putting out colorful packages, donors are less sensitive to it these days.

I’m sure there will be few complaints about a full color package I received from the World Wildlife Fund last week.

The back of the 5-3/4 X 9-1/2 outer envelope is a shot of a polar bear adrift on a tiny floe of ice. The heading: “The effects of global warming can’t be ignored.” The use of color’s perfectly justified.

Inside there’s a folder with a number of 4-color photos. Again, they help tell the story so I doubt if donors and prospects will be anything but impressed with the WWF message. I know one recipient who is. His name is…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NOTE: The next Rants ‘N Raves newsletter will be out within a week or 10 days. If you’re not a subscriber, email me and I’ll make sure you get it.

AWARDS, STICKERS, METERS, MAL

2007-10-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

NOT AN AWARD-WINNING SLOGAN
I received an invitation to the Canadian Marketing Association (CMA) 2007 Awards Gala that I was modestly impressed by – until I got to the end.

Their self-mailer features a cut-out on the front that spins to reveal a different message when you open the piece. When closed, the headline reads, “Come for the glamour.” When you open the folder, the panel flips to read, “Stay for the creative.”

Fun!

The rest of the copy is fine, although it’s set in reverse which will cut the readership by half. And the design is clean and distinctive.

But what got me was the slogan. Or, more correctly, slogans.

The CMA wasn’t content to say, “Results-driven as always. Passionate about great creative like never before.” They have a second tag line under that one, reading, “The results you expect. The rest is unexpected.”

Both lines are fine unto themselves. But together? Has no one there heard the expression, “A good artist knows when to stop”?

At least they weren’t lying. Getting two slogans on top of each other was, indeed, unexpected.

MEMORY STICKERS
What do people first think of when they think of Alzheimer’s disease? If I remember correctly, the answer is: Memory loss.

So what could be more appropriate for them to send as a premium than stickers so you don’t forget things!

The package I received from them last week features a large sheet of stickers. A couple of them read, “Remember to…” There are others that you can affix to a calendar to remind you of things like your doctor’s appointment, to get a dentist’s checkup, and to have coffee with a friend.

I’m going to describe their mailing in greater detail in my next Rants ‘N Raves newsletter, which is due out this month. If you don’t subscribe, email me at: symbiomarketing@telus.net

METERED MESS
When a charity sent me a request to complete a survey, I knew what they were after without even opening the envelope. That’s because it featured a 44-word explanation set in American Typewriter font.

Under their logo, again set in American Typewriter, were the words: “Attention: Citizens’ Panel.”

Because of the way the type was set, the envelope looked very down-home and friendly…the way a personal appeal should look.

But there was one little item that destroyed that illusion.

They’d metered the postage. As a result, emblazoned on the envelope in larger sized type than the logo, were the words, “Addressed Admail.”

So much for the vision of some poor soul labouriously typing out an envelope, evoking the sympathy of the recipient.

LATE KNIGHT
I’d planned to have my web site updated by now, but it’s going to take a few weeks longer.

MAL’S NEWSLETTER
If you’re into fundraising, you undoubtedly know of Mal Warwick and his newsletter. If you’re not a subscriber, here’s a link to the latest issue:
http://www.malwarwick.com/learning-resources/e-newsletters/october-2007.html#1_Kiss_Your_Competitors

Oh, imagine that! It happens to start with an article by…

Dr. Bob
EMAIL: symbiomarketing@telus.net
WEB: www.symbiomarketing.com

Be Patient With Dr. Bob

2007-09-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

My apologies! You've traveled all this way through cyberspace for a new Monday posting...and I can't give you one.

The problem – a combination of a lot of work (including 4 assignments from hospitals for the doctor) and a cold that's slowed me down.

However, I will have a new posting next Monday. I look forward to having you visit then. Many thanks from...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

PARKINSONS & PERCENTAGE RATES

2007-09-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

PARKINSONS HITS TWICE
Early last week, I received a package about the Parkinsons Society’s “2007 Superwalk for Parkinsons”. They were looking for me to either take part in their annual walk in order to raise money for the cause, or to make a donation in support of it.

A few days later I received a different package from the same organization. My immediate reaction was that these people were too pushy by half, hitting me up twice in one week.

But when I read the enclosed letter, my feelings changed.

That’s because, in the postscript, they said that I would soon be receiving a mailing about the Superwalk…and that if I didn’t want to wait for it, I could send a donation now.

What an excellent way to deliver a one-two punch.

It’s just too bad that the post office sent the packages in reverse order.

PERCENTAGE RATES
The majority of the financial services pitches I receive are either post cards or #10 packages. That’s why I found an unaddressed mailing from a local credit union to be so refreshing.

The card they sent measures 6” X 6” and is fairly thick. Plus, on the cover – along with a headline reading, “Discover Your Great Rate” – there’s a dotted area, indicating a pull tab. When you open it, you see the great rate that they’re pushing.

They also knew not to leave things to chance, in case I read the other side first. It’s headline spells out their appeal: “Hurry in for your great rate on an 18-month term deposit.”

It’s not a brilliant piece. It’s not going to win any awards. But because it follows some time-tested rules and adds a touch of imagination, it’s sure to drive in some customers.

And since the rate is pretty good, it might even generate some business from…

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net
http://www.symbiomarketing.com
(It’s the web site for non-profits; the one for commercial organizations will be up in a few months)

INFO, OLYMPICS, SLIPPERY SLOPE

2007-09-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW

Before commenting on a couple of noteworthy DM pieces I received last week, here’s an FYI…

If you’re in the non-profit field, you might want to check out my web site: http://www.symbiomarketing.com There’s a fair whack of info on it and some insights that may help you. (Already been on it? Visit again around the end of the month – there will be some changes.)

If you’re in the commercial sector, try checking out the site a couple of months from now, when there will be a for-profit section.

AN IDEA OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS

The Canadian Olympic Foundation was on the right track with a mailing they sent me last week. To convey the excitement surrounding Canadian Olympic hopefuls, they produced an exciting package – a bright red box measuring about 4” X 9”.

On the back, there’s a full colour photo of Alexandre Despatie, Canada’s 2004 Olympic silver medalist in diving.

The front features a double window, with an Olympic pin showing through the smaller window.

They sure got my attention and whetted my appetite for what was to follow. I knew that I’d received a pin and was now anxious to discover what else the box contained.

But I should have saved my anticipatory thoughts. The only other enclosures were a letter asking me to support Canadian athletes, a donation form and a BRE.

There was nothing wrong with any of the materials. It’s just that the presentation had raised my expectations so high, the fulfillment fell flat. I still can’t figure out the purpose of the box, other than to grab attention…because the pin could have been enclosed in a #10 envelope.

There’s a saying in the service industry: under-promise and over-deliver. It’s something every organization using the mail should bear in mind, if for no other reason than to avoid doing the reverse.

SLIPPERY SLOPE

You’re on a slippery slope any time that you try to do too much with too little. Take one of the ski mountains near my home.

They sent my 13 year old a self-mailer card. On the front there’s a headline reading, “It’s Not Just a Job, It’s a Lifestyle.” Body copy reads, “For Fun, rewarding employment positions and fantastic industry perks, join our team.” And they feature the URL to visit.

Because he’s too young to work on the mountain, I was about to chuck the card into the recycle bin without even showing it to him. Then I noticed the back.

Its headline screamed, “Save 60% on a Full Season Pass” and gave info on how to purchase the discounted pass.

That’s the news he’s been waiting weeks for!

By trying to get one card to achieve two different objectives (to hire staff AND to sell passes), they almost achieved neither with my family.

And who knows how many other recipients threw the piece into the garbage, unaware that the mountain had its passes on sale?

They might now miss the sale and get stuck paying a higher price, unlike the son of…

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net
http://www.symbiomarketing.com

TELEGRAMS & VOUCHERS

2007-09-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

If you'll recall last week's blog, I received a faux telegram from citiFinancial – a small outer envelope with a yellow letter that showed through the window. The OE teaser read, "CASH EXPRESS. Urgent Notice Enclosed."

Well, I now have a second 'telegram' from them. But the only difference from the first mailing is the teaser. This one reads, "Urgent Notice Enclosed. PRIORITY EXPRESS." The content of the letters is virtually identical.

I can understand testing two teasers, using different audiences, to see if one significantly outdraws the other. But why send them to the same person in quick succession?

What if the second one wins? Does that mean that teaser #2 is superior and should be used in future? Or does it mean that people need to be hit with a message twice before they respond?

Because of the way they've handled the mailings, they're never going to know.

TEAM-UP VOUCHERS
More and more non-profits are teaming up with private sector partners that promise to match the gifts sent by donors. Terrific approach. I've worked on a number of them myself and they've been very effective.

One of the best matching-gift mailings I've received (other than my own, of course) is from the Canadian Red Cross.

The envelope teaser is typical, reading, "ENCLOSED: Matching Grant Opportunity That Could Double The Impact Of Your Support." The letter, too, is par for the course, explaining the concept and urging recipients to respond while the matching gift program is still in effect.

What sets the Red Cross's mailing apart is a second enclosure – a sheet of 4 vouchers that resemble cheques ('checks' to this blog's American readers).

You detach and return one of them if you're donating $10...a different one if you're giving $15...and the cheque made out for $25 if that's the size of gift you want to send. The Safeway grocery store chain will then match your donation.

And what if you want to give more? There's a blank one to use in that case.

The only thing that bothers me is that the suggested donation amounts are so small. Why not show a little more confidence and go for bigger amounts, especially considering that I've donated to them in the past?

Is their database out of whack?

Or could it be that most people are being asked for $35, $50 and $75...and they only sent the $10/$15/$25 one to people they now perceive to be cheapskates. I'm talking about donors like...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

URGENT & HUNGRY

2007-08-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

HOW URGENT IS 'URGENT'?

I received a small envelope with the words, "CASH EXPRESS Urgent Notice Enclosed" emblazoned across it. Showing through the window was a yellow enclosure. The mailing looked important so I opened it up.

It turned out to be a faux telegram from CitiFinancial, offering me a personal loan. But I was told that I had to, "Act quickly – funds may not be available after October 12, 2007."

I don't know about you, but 7 or 8 weeks' lead time doesn't put me into a state of panic.

The other thing that bothered me was that the first line of copy stated I had been "Pre-Selected*" to receive this offer. Pre-approved I can understand. But pre-selected? If you know the answer, please tell me – what's the difference between being pre-selected and just selected?

It's like all the "Pre-Christmas" sales you see in December. Why not just "Christmas Sale"? After all, no retailers are open on December 25th anyway so all sales at that time of year are "pre".

But maybe the bigger question is – do faux telegrams work in a world that hasn't seen a real telegram in 25 years?

HUNGRY FOR A DIFFERENT ANSWER

The people who used to live in my house sponsored two children through Canadian Food For The Hungry International (CFHI), an organization focused on helping starving kids around the world. And now that the former owners' change-of-address service has expired, I'm getting some of their mail.

Last week I received a package from CFHI. And I really like the look of it. It's clean and in full colour, featuring crayon-like drawings. But what I like even more is the copy.

It's conversational without being overly familiar. It's simple yet not condescending. It's repetitious in parts but not boring.

Better yet? The package contains two sheets, each of which features four book stickers with the words, "This book belongs to: "

One sponsored child's name has been lasered onto one set of stickers, and another child's name onto the other set, so a kid can affix a sticker to a book and everyone will know it's his or hers. Copy at the bottom of each sticker reads, "Sent with love from (the name of the sponsor)" and there's a blank line for a signature.

And that's the real hook.

The addressees are monthly donors. This mailing is asking them to make a donation above and beyond their automatic monthly donation. The reward for doing so? These children will receive book labels personally signed by their sponsors.

Asking monthly donors for an extra donation is a tricky proposition but CFHI has handled it perfectly.

However, I'm still left with a huge question in my mind: how the hell old are these kids? Their names are Bob and Joan!

I don't think any child's been given those monikers since the '50s or '60s. It makes me wonder if they're now middle-aged and it would more helpful to give them bi-focals instead of book labels.

At least that's the opinion of someone with the same name as one of the sponsored children. I'm referring of course to...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

MONDAY, AUGUST 20

2007-08-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

LADIES ONLY PLEASE
I’ve always said you can learn a lot from direct mail. And my contention was proven correct last week.

The proof: a DM package I received informed me that I’m a woman, something I’d never known…and something that also surprised my wife, not to mention my kids who apparently now have two people to call Mom.

Right on the front of the outer envelope there’s my invitation to, “Come hear how women like you are making money using ebay, Yahoo!, Google, msn…” And, on the back, the copy reads, “Ladies, this is a special night just for us.”

The package is all about receiving a free dinner and gifts for attending a conference about how to cash in on the Internet. And since I’m allowed to bring two guests, I could invite my wife and mother.

On second thought, I won’t ask Mom – she received the same package so she already has an invitation. And even with her own pass, I doubt if she’ll attend. She’s now 90 and I just don’t think she’s one of those women interested in, “creating part-time and full-time incomes from home on the Internet.”

The package is well-written and well-designed. And it utilizes a host of proven DM techniques in the proper ways. So the creative folks have done their job.

But who’s managing the List?

One other feature of this mailing bothers me. My package hypes a free MP3 player with copy and photos, while also mentioning that I’ll receive a free business organizer.

Mom’s package, on the other hand, displays the business organizer and only mentions the free MP3 player in copy.

I can go along with a test to see which gift draws the biggest response. But I can’t understand why they’d create two packages offering identical presents, with the only difference being which one they show visually.

At the end of the day, after spending a bunch of extra money in production, all they’re going to know is that people like the photo of one gift better than the photo of the other gift.

And, of course, they’ll learn that at least one woman on their invitation list won’t be attending. That would be the one named…

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

P.S. The August issue of Rant’s ‘N Raves went out last week. If you’re not on the list and would like to see it, let me know.

MONDAY, AUGUST 13

2007-08-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

FOLLOW-UP
Last week I told you about receiving a Bank of Montreal (BMO) Mosaik credit card that I hadn't ordered, followed by a kind of welcome letter in a plain white envelope.

A couple of days after posting that blog, I heard again from BMO. This time, their message came in a colourful envelope, proclaiming, "Welcome and thank you for choosing Mosaik Mastercard."

Now I'm a little spooked.

Their correspondence all sounds so legit, I'm wondering if someone ordered a card in my name. Their intention, I suspect, would be to conduct a little identity theft and run up some bills in my name.

Or is it, as I mused last week, a marketing ploy? If that's the case, I'm going to be more than a little ticked, because the identity theft fear has me about to call BMO to see what's going on.

Or could it be that your scribe ordered the card in his sleep? If so, Dr. Bob's going to have to visit the doctor.

MILLION DOLLAR PACKAGE
There are so many charitable lotteries around these days, it's hard to tell one 1st prize mansion from another. Or a Ferrari prize from a Lambourgini. Recognizing that, the BC Cancer Agency has performed a DM zig where everyone else is doing zags.

Their outer envelope doesn't feature colourful exclamations about how great you'd feel if you won the lottery. It's in black and white and merely says, "If I had a million dollars..."

Inside, there's no letter laced with tantalizing come-ons to purchase a ticket. Instead, there's a legal sized sheet of paper that delivers the main points above an attached order form. The letter and order form, like the OE, are in understated black and white.

But surely, you say, there must be a gargantuan brochure chock full of photos of the gorgeous house and exotic cars you could win. After all, it's de rigor in the charitable lottery game. No – there's just a small, stapled brochure with the facts...again, in black and white.

And, ready for this? They're not giving away a single house, car or stick of furniture. Every prize is cash, with the grand prize being a million bucks.

But the piece de resistance is a testimonial from Kevin Hearn of the Barenaked Ladies, the group that wrote and performed the song (and envelope teaser), "If I had a million dollars." Doubling the impact of his words of support – he's a cancer survivor.

This package has me so excited, I'm going to order a ticket...maybe on the BMO Mosaik credit card mistakenly sent to...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

The Doctor Is In

2007-08-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, summer vacation is over for your scribe. That's too bad. But it's nice to have you back reading this blog.

'RANTS' IS COMING
Within a week, I'll be putting out the next issue of Rants 'N Raves. If you're not yet a subscriber, ask to become one: b_knight@telus.net

GIVE THEM CREDIT
I seem to recall, just before leaving for a business trip and holidays, receiving a credit card from Bank of Montreal. It surprised me, because I hadn't requested one. Why would I? I need another credit card like Lindsay Lohan needs another DUI charge.

I was too busy, before leaving, to give it much thought. But among the DM packages awaiting me when I returned to the office was a plain white, double-windowed envelope...from Bank of Montreal.

It looks and reads just like the kind of notice a credit card company gives you after sending you a card. It even has an account number on it.

Question – is this a legitimate mistake or is it a new kind of marketing ploy?

If it's the latter and the tactic pays off for them, get set to receive unsolicited cards from every purveyor of plastic known to mankind, not to mention insurance policies, bank accounts...

LIKE SEEING AN EX AGAIN
After breaking up with a girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse, you usually wish them well...to some degree. Of course you don't want to see them succeeding beyond belief after separating from you. But, on the other hand, you don't want to discover that their life is now one of misery.

That's the kind of ambivalence I have when reading a DM package from a former client. And I'm experiencing it now, having just read a mailing from a non-profit organization I once worked for through an ad agency they later dropped. The letter's chock-full of response-killers.

For example, the unpersonalized salutation is in oversized, colour print – hardly an indication that the letter is a one-on-one from the signatory.

The copy is all about the organization...paragraph after paragraph of details that not even the president would find interesting, let alone a prospective donor.

There are typos.

There are patronizing lines like, "This year, 2007..." (Hey, I know what year this is!)

The asks are 98 lb weaklings, e.g. "I hope you will be impressed enough to send a donation".

And then there's the postscript. They use the most valuable piece of real estate on the letter to tell you that you'll get an income tax receipt if you donate. Duh!

If I ran into an ex-girlfriend who was now hanging out with a drugged-out gang member, I'd consider suggesting that she could do better.

Maybe I should do the same with this ex-client, I said to myself after reading the package. No, it would come across as self-serving, I replied. But it would help them, I insisted. No, they wouldn't listen. But what's to lose from trying? Well, you...

Scary, isn't it? These are the thoughts that today occupy the mind of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, July 2, 2007

2007-07-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

SUMMER BREAK COMING
Your Doctor of DM is going to be away from mid-July till the end of the month. That leaves the potential for having a new posting next Monday. However, I've injected myself with a dose of reality – between now and departure day, I'm going to be busy doing approximately 809 other things that simply must be finished before I leave.

So there will be no blog next week. But I look forward to seeing you here on Monday, August 6th.

RANTS EN ROUTE
Either just before going away or just after returning, I'll be putting out the next issue of Rants 'N Raves. If you're not yet a subscriber, ask to be put onto the list: b_knight@telus.net

65 ROSES
In the mid-1960s, a 3 year-old boy inadvertently created an icon for a charity...the kind that most organizations would be willing to invest a small fortune developing.

Unable to pronounce 'cystic fibrosis', he called it '65 Roses'. Today, the term and the rose form the centrepiece of fundraising efforts for cystic fibrosis-focused organizations in the Canada, the US, Australia and likely many other countries.

I received a rose-emblazoned package from the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation that caught my attention for a reason beyond the graphics – it was a lumpy.

Normally, I'd tear into such a package, wanting to know what was causing the package's thickness. But the CF people told me via the teaser that I was being gifted with a pen, personalized notepad and address labels. So the intrigue was gone.

Nevertheless, I opened the package. And I'm glad I did.

It's very well written from beginning to end. The address labels are high quality, as is the note pad. And they've included a buck slip with meaningful information: stats about CF, how they spend their (donors') money and an explanation of why they send gifts in the mail.

Everything's presented in an honest, matter-of-fact way that makes you like the organization, even if you've never dealt with them before.

But there are two things that bother me:

(1) The aforementioned business of mailing a lumpy, but explaining on the OE why the package has lumps. I wonder if they've tested the package with and without the teaser.

(2) The envelope is covered with red roses, front and back. My address labels feature roses. My personalized note pad has photographic bouquets of roses, top and bottom.

Maybe I'm insecure about my masculinity, but I don't think I'm going to feel comfortable sending notes to my bar buddies on floral paper. I don't even think I have it in me to use the address labels, unless it's when when sending a card to my wife on Valentine's Day.

Call me sexist, but my guess is that this package will work a lot better with women than men.

But the mailing is so good and the cause is so worthwhile, the organization's going to receive a donation from...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Happy First Blog of Summer

2007-06-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR
Back about 100 years ago, I wrote some ads and direct mail packages for Silhouette Books. In case you're not familiar with Silhouette, it's part of the Harlequin romance novel organization.

I was working for an ad agency at the time and the folks there were quite excited about landing the account and the fact that I had experience writing DM.

As the lithe account executive glided seductively down the hallway, her hips swaying beneath a clinging mid-calf dress, I unconsciously bit my lip. My eyes widened. My heart beat faster. My hands trembled. Was this goddess of the fourth floor about to approach me? Was she visiting on business or did she too feel the chemistry between us that, in my fondest dreams, had never been spoken of?

Yep, she was coming to break the news to me alright – yours truly was Silhouette's new DM writer. And in order to write copy to entice subscribers, I had to read a stack of the product.

It took me forever to skim through about a dozen of them. It wasn't that they were tough reading. It was that I had to hide the books from view every time anyone came by or risk becoming the laughing stock of the office.

I was skimming through novel #7 when I finally got caught.

"I'm not really reading it," I protested as an art director tried to stifle his laughter. "I'm not! I'm on the account. I have to read
them. They're making me. Honest."

I'm reminded of this because of a DM package my wife received last week. And from what I deduce from it, DM hasn't progressed much in the intervening years...at least not as far as romance novel solicitations go.

The envelope congratulates my wife on being eligible for a CASH REWARD and 4 FREE GIFTS. She just has to complete a survey which consists of four questions. Which of three items would she purchase if she had (a) $25,000 (b) $10,000 (c) $2500 (d) $500. The options for the 25 grand, for example, are: new car, new kitchen, stocks and bonds.

As soon as she scratches her choices, she can scratch for her prizes, including, "TWO FREE MYSTERY GIFTS and TWO FREE BOOKS." Plus, she'll get a cash reward.

When you read the copy – variously set in red, blue and black type with plenty of capital letters, arrows and handwriting – you discover (surprise, surprise) that you'll be a subscriber...unless you cancel within a month. That's despite the promise of the signatory, Pam Power, about forthrightness.

"There must be a catch – right? WRONG! There isn't a catch," she had promised.

Well, Pam, it sounds like a catch to me. But what do I know? I just used to write this stuff.

However, I do salute her for her candor in the postscript. She writes, "I should mention that while your cash reward is not huge (it's a buck), it is really 'icing on the cake' because your free gifts alone are worth $20."

I don't know how to break it to Pam but, despite her final attempt at honesty, the cash reward, the free books and the free gifts worth a total of $20, she's not going to find a subscriber at the home of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, June 18, 2007

2007-06-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

PRIVACY, PLEASE
The people from whom I bought my house last year obviously haven't given change-of-address info to everyone who writes them. I still receive a lot of their mail which I dutifully put into my doorside mailbox for them to pick up.

Last week the Canadian Food for the Hungry International sent them a colourful DM package. The envelope is quite nicely done, with full colour drawings of little kids holding balloons. The teaser printed on the OE reads, "Celebrate!!!"

You feel happy just holding the envelope in your hand.

My problem with it? The front features a second window with a message showing through: "Special card for your sponsored children enclosed!"

So now I know that they sponsor a child through this organization. Maybe that's nothing to be concerned about. Or maybe, to them, it is. Maybe they don't want other people knowing where they spend their charitable dollars. I wouldn't.

If I were CFHI, I'd err on the side of caution so my donors wouldn't have to risk a new homeowner learning details about their lives...and I wouldn't have to risk losing a loyal donor because they perceive me to be a blabbermouth.

COOKED UP VERBIAGE
I also received a postcard addressed to some other people who used to own my house. (They preceded the child-sponsor owners by several years.)

Since I don't know where these people moved to, I can't forward it to them. And since it's a postcard, I didn't feel too much like a verbal peeping Tom by reading it. And since it contains some perplexing wording, I thought I'd share it with you.

It's from Saladmaster® which, I learned from their web site, sells cooking items like pots and pans. And as I learned from the postcard, they must be some kind of Tupperware-like organization. The postmark is from Milwaukee but the contact name on the card features a BC (my home province) phone number. And they talk about how I should visit my "local Saladmaster Dealership."

What got me in the beginning was the headline on the addressing side of the postcard: "Win $1000 of FREE Saladmaster." At that point I didn't know who or what a Saladmaster was. But the logo didn't use the word at all. It had a big LC and the words, "Life Changers" on it. The return address was: Life Changers, 230 Westway Place 101, Arlington, Texas.

Who, I wanted to know, was mailing the former owners of my house? And where does the sender operate from? Milwaukee? BC? Texas?

The headline on the back read, "$1000 of FREE Saladmaster...Can you handle it?" That sounded ominous to me. Is there some problem with winning a grand's worth of Saladmaster, I wanted to know.

The salutation read, "Dear Life Changer." But if you'll recall, their logo said, "Life Changers". Are they talking to themselves? If not, and if their products change people's lives, shouldn't they be calling their customers "Life Changees"?

Adding to my culinary confusion, the card is signed by someone named "Saladmaster", with the words,"Life Changer Owner's Club" written underneath.

Despite my curiosity, I'm not going to register online to enter their contest. I don't know, if I won, whether I could "handle it".
After all, I'm not Gordon Ramsay. I'm just...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, June 11, 2007

2007-06-10T19:56:00.001-07:00

Thanks very much for checking out this week's Direct Marketing Weekly. Unfortunately, I'm not able to post a blog today. You'll just have to be patient with Dr. Bob...and check back next Monday.

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, June 4

2007-06-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing that drives me crazy, it's misspent money and misguided economy. You see it in direct mail packages from both commercial and non-profit organizations all the time.

I sure saw it last week in a mailing I received from one charity.

The front of the outer envelope features a beautiful, full colour illustration. Very arresting. The back is all type and makes an offer: open the envelope and you'll receive a gift. Plus you'll have the chance to win a garden kit.

So far, so good. And the sweepstakes to win a garden kit is an interesting idea. It might work really well for them or it might bomb, but it's worth testing.

To enter the contest, you write approximately 25 words about why you're donating. You don't have to donate in order to win but it would be weird to tell them why you love them, then refuse to pony up with a contribution.

In addition to the double-buckslip sized donation/contest entry form, there's an enclosure that resembles an oversized bookmark. It features the illustration that's on the envelope. It's quite beautiful, but would be fairly pricey to produce.

I could go along with their expenditure on process colour if it weren't for the fact that they must have chinzed out when it came to copywriting. I just can't believe that a top rated writer would have let them get away with some of the verbiage on the donation form, let alone the letter.

The front of the form talks about "a garden of solidarity"...whatever that is. The back refers to it again, then says, "thanks to your solidarity..." and later adds, "To thank you for your solidarity..."

What's with all this "solidarity" talk? What kind of euphemistic adspeak is that?

It crops up in the letter several times too. The headline mentions "the fruits of your solidarity...". The first sentence reads: "I have the privilege of writing you today about the benefits of solidarity." Later on, it says, "We need generous people like you to increase the benefits of solidarity..." And on it goes.

Beyond the countless references to solidarity, the letter has problems with overly long sentences, $50 words and a determination not to communicate plainly and clearly. The thing reads like a mission statement.

If I were them I'd save the money on the full colour enclosure and envelope, and invest a little in clear copy. It would cut their production costs and increase their number of donations. At least it will if even a fraction of its recipients feel the same way as...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, May 28, 2007

2007-05-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

Last week I knocked the Living Shangri-La Toronto mailing for, among other things, having been dropped into the mailboxes of people on my street. I still can't imagine that many of my neighbours have $2.3 million or more in extra cash to spend on a condo 3000 miles away.

But the mail drop situation gets curiouser and curiouser. I heard back from a reader who said that she received one too, despite the fact that rent in her building is $800 a month.

If you're pushing investment property in the millions, why would you waste your time and money soliciting renters paying that kind of cash each month?

DM NEWS INSERTS
Direct Marketing News always has the best inserts! I received the latest issue last week and, inside the polybag, was a riveting envelope from Royal Envelopes.

What captured my imagination was the shape of it. The front features a full colour shot of a jockey and race horse. And the envelope was die cut so the horse's nose extended past the regular edge of the envelope.

When you turn it over, you see more of the horse race, with copy reading, "Now push it faster, better and easier than you ever imagined possible!" The interior contains a letter and a small brochure about their Shape-A-Lopes™. Gotta love 'em.

FABULOUS FUNDRAISING
Last week I received three terrific mailings from non-profits. I loved every bit of the design and typography. I couldn't find fault with a single word of the copy. Oh, wait a minute. Now I know why I think they're so great. They were from the pen of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, May 21, 2007

2007-05-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

One piece of mail dominated my mailbox last week – a thick 6 X 12 folder. And I soon discovered that that was just the beginning.

When I unfolded it, my desk was covered by this now-12 X 36 piece of unaddressed mail. Talk about, "Go big or go home"; this was "Go gargantuan or go to hell."

The cover was very understated. In fact, it was so understated that, at first, I had trouble figuring out what I was looking at.

After spending some time studying it, I determined that the duotone full-bleed photo was either of a branch framing a target in the sky or of a leafy branch and a concentric-circled ripple in water. The gold type set over the brownish-purplish photo read, "Living Shangri-la Toronto" so that wasn't much help.

Not certain of what to think, I flipped to the back cover. It showed the back of a woman from shoulders to mid-butt, wearing a kimono. Or was it a sari? Admittedly, I'm not up on my foreign female fashions but this garment looked like a combination of both. (Where's James Hilton when you need him?)

To learn more, I turned to the only paragraph of explanatory text. The first sentence read, "University Avenue may be Canada's most ceremonial grand boulevard."

To which I say, so what?

The next sentence read, "Living Shangri-La Toronto, a 704-foot glass tower, is a timeless, elegant form."

I repeat, so what?

Sentence #3: "A subtle bend in this grand boulevard" – Do you mean the tower is now a boulevard? – "allows this new icon to announce itself as one of Canada's greatest buildings." Wait a minute. Now you're telling me that the boulevard is an icon but it's telling the world that it's a building?

Then they really get me confused. The next sentence read, "Soon to be Toronto's finest five-star hotel, Living Shangri-La Toronto will offer breathtaking views and an impressive array of world-class amenities, designed to captivate Toronto's skyline and attract discerning connoisseurs."

So they're building some 700 foot glass tower hotel just so they can dominate (sorry, "captivate") the skyline and generate traffic from connoisseurs of who-knows-what?

All I could say was that they'd gone to a lot of expense just to get me to stay in their hotel and impress some connoisseurs. I also had to say, "I can't afford your rates."

They talked about The Residences on floors 18-48 being available for $800,000 and up. And their Private Estates on floors 49-65 starting at $2.3 million. For how many nights, I wanted to know. And does that at least include a free mini-bar?

But I shouldn't have asked. At the bottom of the back cover are the words, "Sales June 9". Ah ha, I said to the back of the kimono-sari lady, you're selling units in a hotel.

I only had two questions left in my mind:

(1) Why didn't they state what they were doing in the beginning, instead of beating around the glass tower bush?

(2) Why are they distributing this piece to middle-class neighbourhoods in North Vancouver?

For one thing, we're 3000 miles from Toronto and I don't know of any of my with-children neighbours who would be mildly interested in pulling up stakes to live in a glass tower, even if it is situated on a bend on a ceremonial boulevard.

And unless the men and women on my street are only faking their concern about paying pennies more for gasoline these days, I don't think many of them have an extra $2.3 million to invest in such a property, regardless of how many connoiseurs it attracts.

At least that's the opinion of the neighbour named,

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, May 14, 2007

2007-05-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

A TALE OF TWO NOTEPADS

Last week, I received a package from the Red Cross. They very kindly enclosed a note pad featuring a tranquil sailboat scene. My reaction: "Thank you, Red Cross. Maybe I'll send you a donation."

I also received a mailing from another charity and they, too, were kind enough to enclose a note pad. Theirs featured 11 tick boxes accompanied by lines to fill out, forming a to-do list.

But I'm ticked off at them. The first line on every sheet is already filled in...supposedly a reminder to myself to send them a donation.

I'm sure they think it's a terrific move: "Hey, by doing this, every time this guy goes to use our note pad, there will be the reminder that he needs to send us a donation."

But will I donate even if I think the cause is worthy? No. I no longer consider their gift to be a gift. To me, it's just an advertising message. And why should I give money to an advertiser if I get nothing tangible in return?

Now, the Red Cross on the other hand didn't go Machiavellian on me. So they're in line for a gift from me.

BANK ON TRICKERY
The Royal Bank has been broadcasting a pretty effective TV commercial lately, promoting its RBC Avion Card. It's targeted towards people who have been frustrated by their inability to cash in their travel rewards points.

If you live in Canada, you've seen what appears to be a big jet travelling down the runway. Then the voiceover asks you why, when you go to redeem a free flight, suddenly there are no seats available.

At this point, the video shows a plane that's had about 150 seats removed from its fuselage. To say the jet looks stubby and unaccommodating would be an understatement.

The marketing folks at Royal were wise enough to incorporate the theme into their latest direct mail package, which I received last week.

The letter shows what looks like that stubby little plane in full colour so you're reminded of the TV spot. It's accompanied by the question, "When you try to book a seat, does your rewards card come up short?"

If you pull back the fold-over on the right hand side of the letter, the shortened plane becomes a full-sized one. The copy under it reads, "Get the RBC Avion card and get the seats..."

Great message. Great delivery. Great involvement technique. Bad move.

What's wrong with it?

The outer envelope is a plain (no pun intended) kraft one only featuring the Royal's logo. When I received it, I was sure that it was a statement about the RRSPs I hold with them. When I opened it up, though, I discovered that they were pushing a credit card instead of telling me how my retirement investment had performed.

I don't like being tricked by anyone, much less by a financial institution that has my retirement nest egg in its hands. And since they've had to stoop to trickery, are they really that confident in the message their communicating?

One guy's not about to take the risk to find out. His name is...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, May 7, 2007

2007-05-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

Before I get started on what I've received in the mail, here's what you can receive from me: my Rants 'N Raves newsletter. I plan to put out the next issue this week.

If you're not yet a subscriber and want to get it, email me at: b_knight@telus.net

WHEN WILL THEY LEARN?
I've ranted before about a particular non-profit that keeps sending me the same acquisition piece every few months. Last week I received it for what must be the 9th time.

I didn't respond the first eight times. I can't fathom why they think I'm going to donate this time.

What is it they say about crazy people expecting different results from doing the same thing?

SHIPSHAPES
The latest issue of Direct Marketing News contained a really cool insert. It's from Innovative Graphics which is pushing specially shaped, plasticized mail pieces.

Their promo piece was, appropriately enough, an oddly shaped hunk of clear plastic with visuals and copy printed on it. It immediately gets your attention because of its weight. And it immediately demonstrates how effective their product – since you've noticed it, they hardly have to tell you that their ShipShapes work.

From a demonstration standpoint, it reminds me of a billboard that Elmer's Glue ran many years ago. The billboard looked like part of the paper was peeling off. The headline: Quick! Get the Elmer's Glue.

The ShipShapes insert also reminded me of a promo letter I wrote and produced for a plastics manufacturer – we printed it on plastic.

CMA A-OK
Finally! An advertising awards show put out information and an invitation that's actually useful to prospective attendees – and readable – instead of a salve to the ego of applause-starved designers.

You know what they're usually like – full of cutesy copy that leaves you wondering what the show is all about or what you might learn. The graphics are typically overdone to the point where they steal attention from the relevant details about the show. And invariably he or she uses unreadable fonts, tiny type and enough eye-fatiguing reverse type to send you hustling to the nearest ophthalmologist.

But the Canadian Marketing Association this year demonstrates how such shows should be promoted. They've used a 5X10 brochure that's clean, colourful and communicative.

It's easy to find the sections you're after. It's easy to learn everything you need to know. It's easy to read!

It's so good, they should feature their own brochure in the CMA Awards for 2007. At least that's the opinion of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Coming Soon

2007-04-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry, yours truly will be out of commission and unable to post the regular Monday blog. However, all being well, I'll post it within a day or two. Thanks for checking in on the blog of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, April 23, 2007

2007-04-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

COLOURFUL COINCIDENCE
A few years ago I was working on an RRSP direct mail campaign for a small credit union. They didn't have much money but needed to create some impact.

To maximize intrigue with a minimal budget, I created a faux telegram with black type printed on yellow stock. It was enclosed in an envelope with the yellow showing through the window. The coloured enclosure, contrasting against the white OE, heightened recipients' curiosity and the campaign was a great success.

Last week, two non-profits used the same technique, also with considerable effect. Help The Aged used yellow stock. The Multiple Sclerosis Society used pink stock.

But I'm betting that they both would have fared better if they hadn't arrived in the same day's mail. Timing is everything, isn't it?

ON ANOTHER SINGLE DAY
On Wednesday, I received a #10 envelope addressed to the "Registered Homeowner" but featuring no address other than the sender's. What made it interesting was the red, white and blue striping all along the borders, making it reminiscent of an airmail envelope.

I didn't have a clue who the mailer was or what the message would be so I opened the envelope. It turned out to be Get Acceptance offering a loan based on home equity.

If I were someone after a loan from a source other than my bank, I might read on. But on this day, Get Acceptance had real competition.

The day's mail also contained a brochure self-mailer from Alpine Credit. Because they didn't use an envelope, I could see immediately that these guys were ready to write up a home equity loan for me.

My guess is that a lot of people who are in the market for their offering would contact them before even opening the blind envelope from their competitor – a prime example of when relying on curiosity value doesn't pay off.

I feel a tiny bit sorry for Get Acceptance for the way things turned out. And also for the two charities who used creative techniques that were similar to each other's.

Maybe there needs to be some kind of overall DM monitor who can alert a mailer that a competitor is scheduled to drop his package on the same day. Then they could hold off and both parties would be the better for it.

Perhaps you know of someone who'd like to take on such a challenge. I know it's not a job for...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, April 16, 2007

2007-04-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

Last week's mail was so uninteresting, I won't bore you by describing it.

But if you've already set aside some time to read my words, here's a link to my article in the latest issue of FundRaising Success: http://www.fundraisingsuccessmag.com/story/story.bsp?sid=51121&var=story#51121

Until next week, I remain your faithful...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, April 9, 2007

2007-04-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

I TOLD THEM SO
In the March issue of my Rants 'n Raves newsletter, I went on about my cell service provider, Rogers, informing me that my phone would stop working in May because of some new technological thing they were implementing.

I admonished them for not writing a more urgent teaser. All they'd said was, "Important information about your wireless service. See inside for details."

Because it sounded so similar to the trick teasers that MBNA often sends me (they tell me that they have important account info and it turns out they're trying to sell me something), I didn't open the Rogers mailing for quite some time.

But good for them! They either came to the same conclusion as I had or read my rant and took heed.

Last week I received a new package from them. This one read, "FINAL NOTICE. Don't let your wireless service be interrupted. Look inside for important details about your service today."

The only problem – I'd already bought their new phone two weeks earlier!

COPY CAT CARD
In my February 26th posting, I applauded Capital One for getting me to open their mailing. They'd sent me a lumpy, created by affixing a cardboard faux credit card onto the letter.

Last week I received a similar package – this one from American Express. But of course this package didn't intrigue me half as much...because I'd seen the technique used just a month before.

Everybody in the ad/dm business steals ideas from others (and who knows who actually started the lumpy card trick?). But to be successful when borrowing a concept, you have to give recipients time to forget the original. Otherwise you get painted with the copy cat brush.

PUZZLING
A few months ago I'd commented about a local hospital that had sent out an elaborate mailing that included a real jigsaw puzzle. Last week I received two more "puzzling" DM packages.

One was a self-mailer featuring a large puzzle piece on the cover. On its face, you could see a bunch of items like chairs, boxes, toys, etc. The headline read: Puzzled By What To Do About This?

Actually I wasn't. But since it was a slow mail day, I turned the one-fold mailer over to see if it would provide the answer. And it did.

The mailing was from a self-storage depot...the kind of place where you pay somebody each month to care for items that you haven't used in years and likely won't for years to come.

I also received a mailing from the Muscular Dystrophy people. And their logo? It's made up of three puzzle pieces fitted together.

MS isn't about to change their logo just because other mailers have cottoned onto the puzzle approach. But I'd suggest that other organizations, commercial or not, start thinking beyond the puzzle. Its appeal is starting to wear a little thin.

At least it is for...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, April 2, 2007

2007-04-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

A PITY ABOUT CITI
I don't know whether the CitiBank credit card is good or not. But I'm not going to be finding out from personal experience.

About 10 days ago my wife received a solicitation from them, offering .9% interest on balance transfers. I received a similar one from them last week. But they're offering me balance transfers at 0%.

I guess I should be flattered that they're so anxious for my business that they're willing to give me a better offer than my wife. But I feel like they're treating her as a second-class citizen. And they've never even met her!

So this supportive husband is going to say no to Mr. Citi, at least until he begins treating us equally...or learns to de-dup by address.

OK TO RP
A big thumbs up to RP Graphics Group for the folder they included in Direct Marketing News's polybag.

It's a 4 colour piece featuring a shot of a seeds bag with the words, "Bob, your seeds have arrived!" (Being an astute DM recipient, I presume that yours will read, "Jason, your seeds have arrived" if your name's Jason, or "Emily, your seeds have arrived" if your name is Emily...)

When you open up the folder, there's a pop-up of a tree. On the branches are various areas that they're involved in: variable colour printing, inserting, clip sealing, trimming, etc.

The back reads, "Everything Knight & Associates needs to sow the seeds of a successful direct mail program." Cool!

DOUBLE-BARRELED TURN-OFF
You'd think companies would know enough to hire professionals for their promotional work...especially when they're in the advertising business themselves!

Plus, being in the business, their materials are going to professional ad people who are very tough critics when it comes to the promos they receive.

I get the feeling that the culprit company is small so I'm not going to reveal their name. But let me fill you in on two counter-productive disasters they created for themselves within the span of 8 days.

#1: They sent me a lengthy email telling me that they're going to be visiting Vancouver soon. They asked if I (and everybody else on their list) can recommend some events they could go to where they could promote their product.

For one thing, I don't know these guys from Adam so I'm not about to spend my time helping them drum up business on my turf.

Plus, by asking, they're demonstrating that they don't know my market. Why would I want to trust my business to a company that's so unknowledgeable about the area where I work?

#2: A mere 8 days later, I received another email from them. In this case, I know who every recipient was...because the sender only "cc'd" the mailing list instead of blind carbon copying them.

The list of names and email addresses fills an entire 8-1/2 X 11 page.

Now if I want to approach anybody on the list, I can. And anybody on the list who wants to solicit me can do the same...all because a company in the advertising field is too cheap to hire people who know what they're doing.

That's enough to get into anybody's bad book. And it's certainly enough to be permanently blacklisted by...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, March 26, 2007

2007-03-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

A TALE OF TWO CHARITIES: PART 1
I received a #10 envelope with no logo – only an address and the words "Renewal 2007". I figured that it was from some non-profit wanting me to renew my support. But who? Should I bother opening it up or recycle the package unopened?

Yes, no. Yes, no. Well, I do write a blog and newsletter, I said to myself. I guess I'll open it so I can report on it.

When I emptied the envelope's contents, I saw the organization's logo on the letterhead. But why, I asked the heavens, didn't they put it on the envelope? I'm one of their supporters. I like to hear from them. If I were asking a friend for a favour, the first thing I'd do is identify myself.

The story becomes more baffling once you start to read the letter.

The organization has some breakthrough news to report. It all sounds great. I'm very happy for them. So why is the news buried within the letter? Why didn't they broadcast it on their OE so everyone would be sure to open it?

A TALE OF TWO CHARITIES: PART 2
I also received an envelope from an organization I'd never heard of: The Foundation Fighting Blindness. I might have never heard of them, but I liked their slogan: "A Cure Is In Sight".

Three things struck me right away: (1) the package was a lumpy and had some weight to it (2) the OE featured a large circular window on the back, headed by the words, "Your Free Gift Is Enclosed" (3) a faux-stained glass ornament showed through – obviously something of value

All together, the envelope said to me, "I'm different. Better open me up." So I did.

They'd sent a 4-page letter from the mother of a child who's been fighting blindness since he was 3 years old. I wish I had room to post all the copy, because it's very well written from start to finish. But here are just a couple of ways that it reaches out and says, "I understand you, Mr./Ms. Reader."

After listing the names of six doctors and how they're working to cure blindness, the signatory says, "I don't understand all the scientific jargon – and I suspect you don't either. But I do know The Foundation Fighting Blindness is funding some of the best research in the world right here in Canada."

Soon afterwards she writes, "It is difficult to say no when asked to support organizations for cancer research, heart and stroke and others. I'm not trying to undermine any other organizations that you feel are worthwhile. I am just hoping you will consider The Foundation Fighting Blindness as a recipient of a portion of your charitable donation dollars."

That's exactly what a prospect needs to hear from an unknown charity: keep supporting your favourites but please add this one to your list of charities that you support.

A BETTER WAY TO SAY IT
Reading the Fighting Blindness package reminds me of the story of a blind man who had been seeking donations on the street.

For years he'd been sitting on the curb with a sign asking for money. Every now and again someone would drop a few coins into his hat.

One day an advertising woman stopped by, gave him a little money and asked if she could write something on his sign. He agreed and, soon, more coins than ever were falling into his hat. In no time, his hat was filled with coins as well as bills.

When he identified her footsteps approaching him at the end of the day, he asked her what she'd written that had caused so many more people to be generous. She told him it was simple.

His sign had read, "I'm blind. Please help." Her sign read, "It's spring but I can't see it."

That's the kind of copy everyone should strive for, including...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, March 19, 2007

2007-03-18T14:52:00.000-07:00

LOTTERIES LEAVE A LOT TO WONDER ABOUT
Provincial government lotteries are under the proverbial microscope because it's been discovered that an inordinately high percentage of ticket retailers are winners. Maybe that's going to help the charitable lotteries where there's no middleman and, therefore, less chance of cheating.

I received three mailings from two lotteries this week – two from the Variety Children's Charity and the other from the Surrey Memorial Hospital-Royal Columbian Hospital lottery. They presented an interesting contrast.

Variety's unaddressed self-mailer is splashed with colour and hype. So is their addressed envelope mailing.

The hospitals' lottery has lots of colour too, but their unaddressed brochure is much classier and considerably quieter in tone.

Judging from the look and tone, I'd guessed that Variety's is the bigger of the two lotteries. But when I checked out how much is being given away, I found out how wrong I was. Variety is giving away just over $2 million; the hospitals are offering more than $5.4 million in prizes.

When I look at the odds of winning, I see a similar gap. You have a 1 in 286,000 chance of winning a grand prize with Variety. Your odds are 1 in 105,800 with the hospitals. And both lotteries' grand prize homes are similar in value.

If the mailings had arrived weeks apart, I'd be make my purchase decision independently. But since both appeals are sitting on my desk side by side, just begging for comparison shopping, it's easy to pick the winner.

If I were the preferred lottery, I'd make sure that, next year too, my mailings go out at the same time as my main competitor. If I were the losing one, I'd do anything to avoid ending up in the mailbox with my rival.

WHAT'S WITH THE HIGH TECH ANIMALS?
Several years ago a new cell phone provider was launched: Fido. Not surprisingly, they featured dogs in their commercials and mailings.

Then there was ClearNet which featured chameleons. Their campaign was so successful that, when Telus bought out them out, they also adopted their animal-focused ad campaign and have been running with lizards, monkeys and flamingos ever since.

And now Rogers Wireless has gotten into the animal act with Frank and Gordon, two anthropomorphic beavers.

I received a nifty little self-mailer from them this week. It's just a simple folder. But what adds interest is what they've done to the inside. They've added a flap to the left and slit it twice to form three panels.

You can pull back the top flap to reveal one scene, pull back another flap to get a different scene. It's a cheap, cheerful little involvement device that any mailer can afford.

A DOUBLE-DECKER BATH TUB?
A company called Bath Fitter sent me an unaddressed folder saying that if I give them one day, "we'll give you a beautiful new bathroom." I understood that part. What I didn't get was the following line: "In just one day, we'll install a beautiful new bathtub or shower RIGHT OVER your old one."

Say, what?

While I was wondering why anyone would want a new bathtub to be sitting on top of their old one, and trying to figure out how you would fill either one with water, I started checking out the photos.

All the shots seemed to be portraying regular bathtubs and showers. They look nice enough. So what's with the "right over your old one" business?

It's usually good to make a distinctive claim. But if it's downright boggling, you have to explain it. At least you do to a recipient like...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, March 12, 2007

2007-03-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

WRITE FOR A RANT
On Friday, I sent out the most recent issue of Rants' N Raves. If you're not a subscriber to my newsletter but want to be on the list, let me know: b_knight@telus.net Act quickly and I'll sent you the last issue.

THEY'RE RIGHT ABOUT THE MAIN REASON FOR GIVING
Survey after survey shows that the #1 reason that people give to a charity is simple: they were asked.

That's why the vast majority of people who support a charity only give when they're contacted. That's why charities keep mailing, emailing and phoning donors; if they didn't, they'd miss out on a ton of donations.

Your scribe was part of this phenomenon last week.

I've always been an animal supporter but have never given to the World Wildlife Fund. Why? They've never mailed me anything, which made it too much trouble to search them out, even though I like the organizaiton.

However, a few days ago, I received an unaddressed self-mailer from them. They happened to be talking about the threat to polar bears, a subject that's been on the TV news recently. But even if they were lamenting the plight of Mongolian swamp monkeys, I would have donated. And I will. Simply because they asked.

OVERSELLING
As background, I live on the North Shore of Burrard Inlet in BC. The moment you step from the shore, you have to climb uphill to get anywhere, until you get to the peak of Mt. Seymour. (It's not ALL steep though. Thousands of people live their lives in relative flatness on the mountain.)

As a resident, I consider the "base" of the mountain to be the shore...not a couple of miles uphill from there. Yet I received an invitation to enjoy, "an evening of wealth & wine" at the local golf club which is situated, "at the base of Seymour mountain nestled in mature forest."

Bull! It's just up the street from me.

At first, I figured that some urbanite living in the heart of downtown Vancouver had penned the promotional prose – someone who's never done more than gaze at the mountains from afar and has never set foot on the North Shore. But I figured wrong.

Whoever wrote it, picked up the line from the golf club's own web site. And they go on even more about the great forests at the mountain's base.

Maybe that kind of copy impresses people from afar, but it just tells the club's neighbours that they're truth-stretchers. And if they're exaggerating about its location, maybe their veracity about other matters should be brought into question.

It reminds me of two things:

(1) A local financial institution moved a few blocks and their promo piece said how they were moving "up the mountain". Now, in fact, they were indeed moving up the mountain. But nobody in this area would think of it that way. Must have been written by a flatlander.

(2) There was a cartoon in the New Yorker, showing a couple salivating over a travel brochure. "It all looks so wonderful," said the man, "I can't wait to be disappointed."

Those are the kinds of things that stick in the mind of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, March 5, 2007

2007-03-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

Before getting onto the mail at hand, I thought you should know – I'll be putting out the next issue of Rants 'n Raves this week.

I think I'll fill you in on a Rogers cell phone debacle, another one featuring Ticketmaster and maybe cast a kindly look at Consumer Reports' mailed mea culpa, among other things.

If you're not a subscriber yet, email me: b_knight@telus.net

LOVING LAVENDER
I received a package from Epilepsy Canada that felt particularly weighty, although not thick. I was intrigued. At least I was until I read the teaser: "Your Free Epilepsy Lavender Ornament is Enclosed!".

Even though the surprise was now gone, I opened up the envelope. And I must say, the ornament is pretty cool – a heart shaped piece crafted from brass with a clear plastic cover on one side. Inside, you can see a heart shaped wreath made of lavender. What a refreshing change of pace from address labels.

There were some things I admired about the package but a couple of other things had me lamenting on their behalf. If you're with Epilepsy Canada, get in touch and we can kick around some ideas.

GREAT DEMO
The latest issue of Direct Marketing News came with a promotional paper sleeve wrapped around it. As they say, it's "from the folks who invented The Bellyband™".

So you see this cool wraparound. Then you see that it's presented by the folks who invented them. And when you open the band up, you get all the info you need in case you want to try using one in your next mailing.

A ROYAL PAIN
RBC Asset Management, part of the Royal Bank group, sent me a self-mailer that had me wanting to throw a brass ornament at them.

There were no instructions on how to open it. I had to figure out on my own that I should tear away the bottom, then the left and right side.

Why would anyone send out such a difficult-to-open piece? Because they really don't want you to open it.

They're required by law to help you request their 2006 annual report and 2007 semi-annual report. But of course they don't want to go to the expense of paying postage for the request (the postage paid request form was enclosed) or incur the cost of printing extra copies of the reports and then mailing them.

So they make the whole process arduous in the hopes that people will give up with the first perf. It may save them some money, but it won't gain them any friends.

WHERE'S PRIVACY LEGISLATION WHEN YOU NEED IT?
One non-profit that I support sent me a package with the following teaser on the OE: "Your support last year made such a difference...".

Call me Mr. Private, but I don't want my letter carrier knowing which charities I support and when I last donated. Here, they make all these promises about not sharing my name with any other organizations. Then they blab info about me to every employee of Canada Post who touches my envelope.

And while I'm in a grumpy mood, I can't understand why so many direct mailers set their postscripts in bold (as this non-profit did). The PS is sitting there in an island of white. It's easy to spot. It's easy to read. Why risk overkill by bolding it?

It's a technique that confounds...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, February 26, 2007

2007-02-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

A CAPITAL IDEA
Credit card companies continue to send me solicitations. Usually they're hyping a low interest rate for balance transfers. Of course, if you don't have a balance to transfer, their offer isn't that appealing...so they're losing a fair chunk of their audience right off the bat.

Capital One got away from that this week, though. Their outer envelope (OE) only features their logo. But, boring though that might be, there's something about it that says, "Open me" – the package is a lumpy. And you just have to open it to see what they've sent.

It turns out to be a mock credit card. I liked that and also the fact that the headline on the letter wasn't screaming a percentage at me. It reads, "Here's the deal – you're guaranteed a card with this offer. (really)"

Nice, human touch.

QUEENS IS A KING
After criticizing Queens University School of Business in my last posting, I started thinking – some of you may not be familiar with Queens. Maybe you're now thinking that it's not a good school if they're sending Dr. Bob mailings that he isn't interested in.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. It's a top notch university. They just need to be more judicious about whom they're soliciting...and how often.

IN LIVING COLOUR
I'm amazed how many non-profits are using full colour with their mailings and would love to know if it's paying off.

Last week I received a package from BC Women's Hospital that has a colour photo on the OE and the reply card. And Easter Seals sent a very colourful package.

It has an orange background on the front, with a large photo of a flower and three smaller pix. Inside, there's a 4-page letter with full colour photos on each page. Also inside, there's a sheet of top quality, colourful Easter Seals.

The back of the envelope features a large window that allows the Seals to show through. That makes me wonder why they went with expensive process colour on the OE – they could have achieved the WOW effect by simply showing the Seals.

With the second window, the Seals and the four colour printing throughout, it's a costly package. I hope for their sake (and the kids') that it pays off OR that they're testing it against a cheaper package.

If asked, testing would be the recommendation of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, February 19, 2007

2007-02-18T13:25:00.000-08:00

MISSED A BLOG
Here's a Thank You to readers who wrote about there being no Dr. Bob blog last Monday. I then posted an explanation, saying that it would be back on the 19th at the latest. But somehow that post didn't stay up. Maybe it's because I've upgraded the blog to a newer version. And who knows – maybe it will appear again.

GAINED AN ARTICLE
The latest issue of Canadian Fundraiser Enews features an article by your scribe. To read it, go to:
http://www.canadianfundraiser.com/newsletter/article.asp?ArticleID=2215

FISHING FOR NEW CUSTOMERS
The most recent issue of DM News came with some enclosures, including an extremely impressive one from RP Graphics.

It's die cut in the shape of a fishing tackle box, and printed to look like one. The front reads, "Bob 'tackle' your DM effectively!" The reverse reads, "Everything Knight & Associates needs to land the BIG one!"

This is a vey inviting piece on the outside and it doesn't disappoint when you open up the 'box'.

It shows an array of fishing lures, each one supposedly designed to help in a different situation, e.g. Variable Colour Print, Personal URLs, etc. There are a few more appropriate puns ("Fishing for ideas?" and "Drop us a line") but, like any good artist, they knew when to stop.

Before moving on, allow me to also gush over the fact that the piece is personalized – something that most companies don't do when being delivered in a poly bag with other items.

It looks like RP pulled out all the stops in order to create a whale (sorry, I couldn't resist) of a package.

QUEENS WANTS A KNIGHT
I received yet another oversized mailing from the Queen's University School of Business. I haven't kept track of how often they mail me but it's got to be a couple of times a year. And they've been doing it for years.

I never respond. But I keep getting their expensive packages. Will they ever get the message that I'm not interested, and stop wasting their money?

Yes. I guarantee it.

The most recent package was sent to my old address and Canada Post forwarded it. But that service is going to stop in June. And Queen's is going to start saving some money once they remove me from their list.

I SEE A BIG IMPROVEMENT
CNIB recently underwent a rebranding.

First, they changed their name from Canadian National Institute for the Blind to: CNIB. That makes sense for two reasons: (1) everybody always refers to them as CNIB anyway (2) most of the people they serve aren't truly blind, just sight-impaired.

Along with the name change, they've updated and upgraded their graphics.

In the past, you could count on them to present materials that were old-fashioned looking and heavy handed. Their new look is clean and contemporary. They've even ditched their ugly purple mainstay for green. That certainly impresses...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Bad Doctor!

2007-02-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

Sorry, there isn't a real post for February 12th. I've been busy with an unexpected patient load and just haven't been able to get to the blog. However, in an effort to avoid a malpractice suit, I'll try to get it out in a day or two. Failing that, we'll just have to wait till next Monday. Your apologetic...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, February 5, 2007

2007-02-05T16:03:00.000-08:00

Surprise, surprise – my mailbox last week was filled with a bunch more credit card solicitations, as well as a few opportunities to stop worrying and learn to love tax time...by tax prep software people. Too bad (for them) that I use an accountant.

BAD FUNDRAISING PRACTICES
(A) One of the worst direct mailers in the country is a national charity that shall go unnamed. Their stuff is absolutely brutal!

Normally, I feel sorry for a worthy cause that can't compete with more sophisticated non-profits. But this organization brags about the fact that it doesn't use professional fundraisers. They're actually proud of the fact that they write and produce such ineffective and over-costly mailings.

I could go on and on about what a waste of money their mailings are and how they're able to help fewer people because of their refusal to enter the 20th century, let alone the 21st. But I'm only writing a blog and not a book.

I'll see. Maybe I'll get into their package in greater depth in my next issue of Rants 'N Raves.

(B) I received a package from another fundraiser that certainly scores high on the professionalism scale.

The outer envelope is compelling. The donation card is well done. They've included an item that recipients will consider helpful and will, at the same time, promote the organization's name. And most of the letter is well-written.

So what's my gripe? They lied to me.

They say that, "thanks to me", they were able to fund over 900 researchers, spend $5 million in research projects, sponsor 10 students, distribute 14,259 informational binders and educate 569,132 members of the public.

They'd be right if I'd donated something like $10 million. But I only gave them about $50 or $60.

PRESCRIPTION: Don't tell donors that they were solely responsible for such achievements. Tell them the truth – that they "helped" the organization accomplish a great deal. Then the reader will believe your next statements and not dismiss them the way they were by...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, January 29, 2007

2007-01-29T13:56:00.000-08:00

Last week, I mentioned how December's fundraising appeals had given way to enticements from credit card companies.

My mailbox is still receiving more than its share of credit card offers. But charities have come out of their self-imposed hibernation and are again seeking my help. Unfortunately, they're not seeking it in convincing fashion.

EXAMPLE 1:
There's a health-related charity that I've never given to. It's not that I don't believe in their cause. I guess their mailings just haven't been compelling enough for me to get out my chequebook.

They mailed me about a year ago, then again in the spring and the fall. And they mailed me last week. There's nothing wrong with persistence. But there is in not learning from past mistakes.

They keep sending me the same package! Over and over again.

We all know that sending a package a second time tends to generate 50%-60% of the original response. So that technique can make economic sense. But at some point you've got to say, "Hey, this guy isn't responding to what we're saying. Let's try something new."

EXAMPLE 2:
The outer envelope of this appeal has a stamped effect in red, screaming: URGENT REMINDER. There's also a teaser reading, "Urgent response needed by February 28th, 2007."

My first reaction was that maybe the situation is urgent for them, but it's not for me. And they should be putting themselves in the donor's shoes instead of viewing the world from just their perspective.

I opened the envelope to see what could be so urgent – maybe there really was a crisis – but didn't find anything in the 3-1/2" X 7" letter that had me scrambling to fill out the donation form.

But it did have me reaching for aspirins to quell the headache I developed reading the letter – it's set in 8 pt type!

The vast majority of donors are middle aged to senior. Their eyes aren't what they once were. So someone writes them using 8 point type?!

Why not go with regulation sized paper? Or cut the copy? Do anything but send a letter that requires an accompanying magnifying glass.

This charity might not agree. But that's the prescription from...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, January 22, 2007

2007-01-22T18:05:00.000-08:00

FIRST...THIS MIGHT BE YOUR LAST CHANCE
I'm about to send out the newest edition of my Rants 'n Raves newsletter. If you're not on the list and want to be, let me know ASAP: Just email me at b_knight@telus.net

HEARD FROM DIANE?
Did Diane Simon ask you to complete her shoppers survey?

Her invitation came in a manila envelope stuffed with a friendly double-sided letter, a six-page survey, a lift note and a BRE. My outer envelope and survey came with a 'hand-written' file number on it: #138. And I'm betting that if you also got the mailing, we have the same file number.

I'm not really knocking the package. It's well written, It's got hype but it's not overblown. And Diane makes it sound like you've been singled out to complete the survey and maybe win a prize.

However, the package was sent as unaddressed mail. I wonder if she's tested it as addressed. My bet is that a lot more people would complete and return the survey if it looked like they really had been selected because Diane values their opinions so much.

CREDIT CARD CITY
December's mail is filled with fundraising appeals. January's is dominated by credit card companies. Last week my wife and I received five packages about credit cards– that's one a day!

I've said it before but obviously not often enough – these guys need to dedupe by address. Otherwise, folks like yours truly see what their wives and/or children are being offered...and sometimes they get a better offer.

Take Citi. They're willing to give me 2.9% interest on balance transfers. But they'll only charge my wife .9%. (BTW, Capital One presented her with the same deal.) And how does that make your scribe feel? Can you spell "chopped liver"?

MBNA is certainly after my business, though.

It's not enough that I already have two of their cards. It's not enough that I've recently told two of their telemarketers that I don't want another card. It's not enough that I never take advantage of the cheques they send me. They want me to take out a 3rd card because I could transfer balances at a rate of 1.9%.

Maybe if I give them my wife's name they'll leave me alone and go after her.

MEMORY LANE
I received a mailing from the Bradford Exchange, which took me back to my first writing job. It was with the Canadian division of the Franklin Mint.

I didn't write the direct mail packages but I was given the responsibility of critiquing them. Too bad for their agency.

They had to put up with novice me picking them up on every inconsistency in spelling and punctuation, not to mention grammar lessons that have no role in marketing.

It was only after I'd moved on that I learned, to paraphrase the old Winston's cigarette slogan, "What do you want? Good grammar or good results?"

I'm not going to beat myself up too much over my early mistakes though. After all, back then I was just an intern and not...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, January 15/07

2007-01-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

In my last posting, I mentioned that Readers Digest had tried to entice my wife into entering their contest by saying she was a "potential finalist to win an instant $500,00.00." Obviously that was just a warm up.

A few days ago she was mailed the most elaborate package I've seen in years.

The front of the 9X12 envelope features a green and black sticker stating that, "The contents have been sealed and dispatched under supervision to ensure compliance with all entry deadlines." Translation: someone ensured that the envelope got licked and mailed.

There's a tracking number plus a red and blue sticker with a bar code, urging the recipient to open the envelope asap. The back has "Tamper Proof. Open Here" stamped on it 7 times. But that's just the beginning.

Inside, there's a 2-sided Statement with lottery numbers, confirmation of the amounts of money she can win (remember – she's a "potential finalist"), instructions and a guarantee.

There's also a double-sided letter personally addressed to her.

Then there are two faux cheques and the coolest thing of all – a credit card sized, holographic Prize Decoder Card. I'll get back to that in a minute. First, I must tell you about the return envelopes. That's right – plurual.

One of the BREs is for those who say, "NO". The outer flap urges you to not say 'no'. If you're unconvinced and lift the flap to mail your refusal to them, there's a message from the Circulation Director telling you that, "You could be throwing away the chance for thousands of dollars..."

The second BRE is for those wise folks who decide to enter the contest. It's flap tells you how to use your Decoder Card.

You're supposed to hold it against masked-out sections of the BRE to see whether you might win a car. Sure enough, the Decoder Card just happens to indicate that my wife is eligible to win the most expensive car or $35,000 cash. Talk about an involvement device!

As they say in infomercials, "But wait. There's more!" The package also includes a four-colour brochure about the special gift that's, "Yours to keep, FREE, with our thanks!"

Magazines lead the direct mail field into the 20th century. It looks like they're out to strut their stuff in the 21st too.

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's a charity that I've known about for years. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter they send out unaddressed flyers asking you to help feed the homeless at $2.59 per meal.

Last week I received a #10 envelope featuring a skyline silhouette, what looked like the sender's name, a teaser and a photo. I was trying to figure out what business the sender was in when I stumbled across something amazing buried in the skyline...the charity's logo!

I couldn't believe it. This mailing bore as much resemblance to their flyers as I do to Anna Nicole Smith.

Inside there was a donation form, a BRE and an 8-page newsletter. As I browsed through the newsletter, I discovered that the organization, which I'd always thought got by on a budget of about $200 a year, is being supported by some of the biggest companies in the province. They've got to be pulling in millions of dollars a year.

Why do I say this is a bad thing? Because they've destroyed their previous image of being a hard-working organization in desperate need of every penny a donor can spare. To me, it looks like they're so rich I feel like applying for a handout from them myself.

PLUS...if you're proud of your organization, you don't bury the logo on the envelope. PLUS...you don't use your organization's acronym in a prospect mailing headline unless it's commonly know by that name. PLUS...you don't send a fundraising package without a letter. PLUS...you don't try to entice donation dollars by bragging about how wealthy you are.

I'm delighted that this non-profit is doing so well. But a lot of other charities are knocking on my mailbox, giving me the impression that they're in more urgent need of donation dollars. So they're the ones that will get the bucks from...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, January 8/07

2007-01-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

During the last part of December and in early January, appeals from non-profits nearly dried up. In their place, credit card companies turned up the heat.

MILES OF SIMILARITY
One day's mail was particularly interesting – I received two unaddressed #10 packages.

The teaser on the first envelope I picked up read, "Earn 100 Bonus AIR MILES reward miles. See inside for details." The other read, "Receive 7,500 Bonus Aeroplan Miles."

What's so interesting is that they were both from American Express.

Inside, each package featured an application form, a BRE and a two-page letter with a blank credit card affixed. The Air Miles one also had a buck slip promoting the offer of free Air Miles.

Another interesting thing is that they sent out two separate packages, I guess to test which appeal works best. But because (i) they have different teasers, (ii) one envelope is in blue plus black while the other has only black print and (iii) one has a buck slip while the other doesn't, they're not going to get a totally valid comparison.

If I were them, I would have made each package identical, with the offer being the only variable. That way they'd know precisely how much more appealing one offer was over the other.

Also interesting – they're offering bonus miles instead of pushing a low interest rate for switching balances. You'd think that would be a natural when people's holiday spending bills are coming in. A supposedly-low interest rate is mentioned in the letter, but the real bait is the miles.

Strange.

I HATE FALSE FINANCIAL TEASERS
MBNA is at it again, sending me packages with "ACCOUNT INFORMATION ENCLOSED" on the envelope.

Naturally I open it up in case it's important info about my card. And naturally I'm ticked when I discover that all they're doing is pushing their line-of-credit cheques.

And they wonder why I'm using their card less and less?

TRADEMARK CHICANERY
When I first took out a trademark, I received some very official looking documents from some very official sounding departments. One was so convincing that I contacted my lawyer, who informed me that it was just a scam.

I received another one last week, this one from the United States Trademark Center, making it look like I needed to send them $385 if I wanted to protect my trademark. They've covered their butts by stating that, "This is not a government document" and that, "This is not an invoice."

HOWEVER, in the same breath, they say,"Include payment with form." If that doesn't sound like something you say on an invoice, I don't know what does.

First tip for 2007 – if you trademark anything, use a lawyer specializing in the field (mine is Eric Swetsky in Toronto if you want a recommendation). And make 100% sure that any requests for payment are coming from legitimate sources.

Actually, make 110% sure.

$500,000 RICHER
My wife received a letter from Readers Digest informing her that she's now a "potential finalist to win an instant $500,00.00 in the third and last stage of the 71st national sweepstakes."

Being a "potential finalist" has got to be a pretty big deal, don't you think? I mean, how many other "potential" finalists could there be? Let's see, if they contact 14,000,000 people that would make...yes, 14,000,000 potential finalists.

Since the offer was left on my desk instead of being mailed back, I presume that my wife has decided against fulfilling her potential to win half a mil.

Someone else is going to pass this time around too. His name is...

Dr. Bob

Last Post of the Year

2006-12-17T21:26:00.000-08:00

There are three local charities that are driving my sense of ROI crazy.

They won't pay for decent copy, which ends up costing them donations. But making matters worse, they squander money on bells and whistles that are not only unnecessary, but likely counterproductive.

COLOUR ALONE DOESN'T CUT IT
One of the packages I received has a full colour photo on the outer envelope AND on the letterhead.

And as if that isn't enough, they've enclosed full colour gift tags and a paper ornament featuring the same colour photo that's on the OE and letterhead.

Hey, you folks who produced this – all that costs money. Big money. And, in this case, there's no real need to pay for process colour. Take it from the doctor of donations – it's not going to bring you in any more money. In fact, it might cost you gifts from people who don't like to see their donation dollars wasted this way.

Then there's the copy.

Let me just say to the organization that's responsible... if you want to raise money from people, don't be vague. Don't be timid. Don't rattle on about what a great job you're doing (if you're doing that well, I say to myself, you don't need my help). Don't write a paragraph that's 10 lines long (3 or 4 is plenty).

And don't tell me that my gift "no matter what amount" will make a humungous difference; that just encourages me to send $5 and think that I've done a wonderful thing.

SANTA WOULDN'T BE MOVED
Another local non-profit is trying to help kids get presents at Christmas. That's a very noble cause and certainly one that's deserving of a compelling DM package. But that's not what recipients get with this charity.

They receive an 8-1/2 X 11 letterhead printed in 3 colours on both sides. Costly!

And what's more unfathomable, the text of the letter is only 11 lines long! Count 'em. Eleven! It's a little difficult to do much a persuasive selling job in that short a space, especially when you're dealing with prospects.

And there's more. In addition to the expensive aforementioned 4-colour OE and letterhead, they've included a 4-colour insert AND a lift note.

Yet they totally chinzed out on the copy...the very thing that's needed to convince recipients to donate.

THE OTHER CHARITY?
They're habitually guilty of the same sins. My guess is that they, too, have the feeling that their copy isn't going to cut it. But rather than invest in more persuasive verbiage and strategic thinking, they fill their envelopes with inserts that are much more expensive to produce.

Sadly, they're not alone. And it's not only in my neck of the woods.

THERE'S ALSO THE MISSION IN MONTREAL
There's a religious mission operating out of Montreal that's trying to raise money for victims in Sudan.

Their outer envelope is very plain, only featuring their name and address in black print. The donation form is so down-scale, it looks like it came off my kids' computer and is, again, printed in black and white.

You start to get the feeling that the good Father who sent the package is very frugal. And you begin to feel for the Mission.

But then you see that the two-sided letter is loaded with 4-colour photos and illustrations. Suddenly you don't feel the same need to reach into your pocket for a donation. You become convinced that they have money to burn...and that you'd rather they don't burn yours.

A LESSON?
It's misplaced economy to buy cheap meat and try to disguise it with fancy toppings – it's still going to taste tough. Instead, put your money into a better cut. Diners will be so busy salivating, they won't even realize that it's been served without accoutrements.

SO LONG FOR THIS YEAR (AND LET'S HOPE FOR BETTER DM IN 2007)
Next Monday is Christmas and the following one is New Year's Day. I know that I'll have other things on my to-do list besides writing a blog. And you just might have a few better things to do than read it.

So this is it for '06. I'll just take this opportunity to extend the very best wishes for the Holiday Season and the New Year from...

Dr. Bob

Monday, December 11

2006-12-11T12:07:00.000-08:00

'TIS THE SEASON
This is the season of giving. Maybe that's why so many companies have been offering me presents over the past few days – and good ones at that. Or maybe they see something coming down the pike and are trying to attract as many customers as possible before the end of the year.

For example, my kids have bank accounts at a credit union where my wife and I don't bank. I got a call from them the other day offering me a $50 gift certificate for a restaurant that we love. All I have to do is have a chat with them about my wife's and my finances.

Then Scotiabank sent me a self-mailer offering me a BlackBerry if I switch my business account to them. I'm not planning on switching financial institutions but let's open up the mailer and see what they have to say.

I don't like the way their "letter" starts. They address me as, "Dear Valued Business Owner." I can understand their calling me valued if I'm one of their customers. But right now I'm just a prospect and not that valued to them. I think they're just trying to suck up to me.

The opening paragraph reads, "Most business owners think one bank is just like any other. That is, until they try Scotiabank. You see, we've made business owners a priority..."

Hold it right there, Scotiabank. In my experience, there can be a huge difference between financial institutions. And I have to tell you – saying something like that hasn't exactly impressed the wallet out of my jeans.

Furthermore, I can't stand the expression, "you see." You see, I find it so condescending! And since it fits into the tone you sent with the salutation, I'm concluding that you and I don't see eye to eye. Sorry, no Knight & Associates business for you. And, sadly, no BlackBerry for me.

InfoCanada also made me an offer, this one for a free iPod.

I'm scanning the one-page letter, which is the only enclosure. It's all about their databases but I don't see anything about the offer. Oh, there it is – at the bottom right of the page: "Get Your FREE iPod nano When You Purchase 10,000 Full Record Sales Leads!"

If they thought they had such a hot offer and also could turn my business life around with their lists, I think they should have made a bigger deal about the iPod and gone on at greater length about their products.

Nope. Not going to act.

COPY KILLS THE DEAL
I also received a hefty package in a 10" X 15" envelope with $1.88 in postage on it. That got my attention.

But I have the feeling that the sender isn't a big company and I don't want to slam an up and comer. So I'm going to rename them XYZ Media, then tell you some of the reasons why they've wasted a lot of money by not hiring a writer to prepare their copy. (At least, I should THINK they wrote it themselves.)

You get the immediate impression that the sender isn't a big, established organization as soon as you look at the envelope.

For one thing, they've used live stamps instead of a meter. (Yes, live stamps work great on mailings that are supposed to be highly personal. But they destroy that technique by using a mailing label and addressing the piece to, "Media Director, Knight & Associates." You then know that it's not a piece of personal correspondence.)

Plus, for their return address, they use a label with their name typed on. Not overly professional.

The letter isn't addressed to anyone. It just starts off with copy which states, "My name is Blank Blank and I am the Vice President of XYZ Media in Toronto. XYZ Media is a (type of) company based in Toronto that specializes in..."

The next sentence begins, "XYZ Media is a Toronto based..."

So you read three sentences and all you get out of it is that someone is writing you from Toronto. And that's if you're able to read it. The type has got to be 8 pt.

The accompanying kit folder looks impressive – big, colourful, tons of illustrations and photos, a bunch of glossy full colour inserts. But, again, their copy kills the sale. Here's one example:

"XYZ Media is much more than just getting attention. It is about getting results. Each XYZ Medium is a new innovation that requires very creative consultation to ensure the message is best represented by the vehicle(s) chosen. It is here, in our creative execution where we are accountable and ensure that the final product cohesively fits with your marketing objectives and media mix to get results."

Huh?

Guys, guys, guys. You're in the communications business. You're trying to communicate with communications professionals. Do yourselves a favour – hire someone who knows how to write clearly. And simply.

Or at least offer me an iPod.

It may be right. It may be wrong. But that's the opinion of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

Monday, December 4

2006-12-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

I have a question...

WHEN IS A GIFT NOT A GIFT?
I received a package from the Hearing Foundation of Canada last week. On the outer envelope (OE), a teaser read, "Enclosed is a useful gift." Inside were ear plugs.

I say that's a gift, and a very appropriate one coming from people who are dedicated to saving people's sense of hearing.

I also received a package from the Heart & Stroke Foundation. Their teaser read, "Our gift to you is enclosed!" And what did they enclose? Some address labels and a personalized note pad. OK, says the doctor, that's a gift in my book.

Covenant House sent unaddressed mail to my mailbox. (Interesting – unaddressed mail from charities is somewhat rare these days.)

The OE featured the headline, "A Gift to You from Covenant House." What was inside the envelope? Fourteen colourful gift tags. Hey, I consider that to be a gift. I appreciate it and now I feel even better about these folks.

And finally, I received a package from another well-known charity, one that I support. It's OE proclaimed that it was their 2006 Holiday Appeal and stated, "Inside...our gift to you!"

I opened the envelope full of expectation. I saw a letter, a donation form, a BRE and a greeting card that read, "Seasons Greetings" and the organization's name.

"Wait a minute," I said to myself. "They forgot my gift!" I shook the envelope. Nothing more fell out. I pulled apart all the enclosures, thinking that my gift might be stuck onto one of the components. But no dice.

Finally, I read the letter to see if they describe what they were supposed to send me. They did describe it...in the PPS: "To thank you for your continued support, we've included a special Holiday card that's yours to keep."

What??

That chintzy greeting card – used, at that – is my gift?!

It would be Lunchbag Letdown at the best of times. But considering the genuine gifts that other charities sent me last week, their promise is downright false advertising.

And the kicker? They implore me to give, "as generously as (I) can". Right. Like they've been generous to me.

I'm not going to name the organization, because their cause is a good one even if their marketing sucks. But that's the end of my generosity. If they hadn't tried to trick me into reading their material, I probably would have sent another donation. But now?

Maybe I'll use their postage-paid return envelope to send them one of the address labels I received from Heart & Stroke...and gush about how it's theirs to keep.

This counterproductive effort reminds me of a radio production studio that I used to give a ton of business to.

One Christmas they couriered me a box. Inside was a smaller gift-wrapped box. I opened it up enthusiastically, wondering what thoughtful present they were bestowing on me as a reward for my patronage.

It was an audio cassette of their voice-over talent! Something they give away to any Tom, Dick or Harriett who expresses the slightest interest in their studio. I should have pulled a similar trick on them, gift-wrapped one of the commercial tapes that I'd produced there, and sent it to them – Merry Christmas from the Grinch.

GUTSY CREATIVE
BC Children's Hospital sent a very compelling package. The letter is 4 pages long and features full colour photos of their various young patients. At the top of the letterhead there's a partial map of British Columbia.

The donation form also features that BC map, along with a piece of a jigsaw puzzle which is affixed to it. Neat stuff! Then there's a clear cellophane bag containing the remaining puzzle pieces required to reconstruct the provincial map.

The theming is pretty much summed up in the opening lines, "Every supporter of BC Children's Hospital is an important piece of the puzzle. We depend on the generosity of people like you to complete the picture of care for critically ill children across the province..."

It's the most intriguing creative I've received in a while, and certainly unexpected from a charity. The two questions I have: (1) will recipients balk at the obvious cost of the package? (2) Will an increase in donations justify the added cost?

For the hospital's sake, I hope the package works. For the sake of encouraging more organizations to push the envelope, I hope it works too.

And speaking of gutsy creative...remember how I knocked the teaser on a UNICEF OE?

For the record, the only problem I had with it was that the word "this" had been used ("This nickel could save a child's life.') I say it should read, "One nickel could save a child's life." Then nobody can accuse them of sending out life-saving nickels.

I bring this up because someone said I didn't like the package. No! I do like it. It's unusual. It features a real live nickel. I wish more organizations would be inventive and send things like nickels and ear plugs.

They sure beat those efforts that promise you a gift but only give you a used greeting card. At least that's the opinion of...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net

For Monday, November 27

2006-11-26T23:29:00.000-08:00

SPENDING DOUGH
I don't get the Little Caesars Pizza marketing people. I received what must be my 73rd flyer of the year from them.

They have to keep sending out flyers so that people can have their phone number handy. And, no, you can't find Little Caesars in the phone book...because they no longer advertise there. They must be the only pizza purveyor this side of Sicily to abandon that medium.

Ask yourself - what happens when you feel like a pizza? If you don't have a number memorized, you turn to the Yellow Pages.

But what if you're hankering for a Little Caesars? You end up seeing 417 ads from their competitors. And maybe you change your mind about who you're going to try.

And destroying forests with all their flyers isn't their only questionable marketing activity.

At least at my neighbourhood LC, they hire people to stand by the street with sandwich boards promoting their establishment. Morning, noon and night, there's someone standing in the rain, snow or blazing heat, draped in an ad.

What's must that cost?

MY 5 CENTS WORTH. AGAIN.
In my October 12th blog (www.intodaysmailbox.blogspot.com) I recounted how I'd received a mailing from UNICEF. A 5 Cent piece showed through the window, accompanied by a teaser reading, "This nickel could save a child's life!"

I said it then. I'll say it now – "So don't give it to me; use it to save some child's life."

I mention this because I received the same mailing last week. OK, we know what they were TRYING to say. But the fact of the matter is, they didn't say it.

It could be costing them response. It could be costing them donations. So it could be costing kids' lives.

There's another problem with an approach like this – if you make it seem like you can move mountains with pennies, a lot of people will cough up a measly $10 and think they're doing a world of good.

POLITICAL FREE RIDE
I received a message from my opposition Member of Parliament, sent in an envelope with no postage. Because he's an MP, he doesn't have to pay for postage when mailing constituents.

Fair enough – when it's a genuine message of interest to voters. But this one was nothing but pure political partisanship.

He sent a coupon that he wants me to mail back to Parliament – again, no postage will be paid by anyone – condemning what the government's doing (or not doing) about climate change.

Personally, I support his view. But I can't believe that politicians and their supporters get a free ride on the postage machine.

Maybe if they started paying the freight when promoting partisan views, the post office could send some of the extra money to organizations like UNICEF.

THE JINGLE RETURNS
Anyone who lives in BC's Lower Mainland can sing the TV jingle from the Vancouver General Hospital/University of BC Hospital lottery. It's simple but catchy: "You...could be...a milllion...aire."

Wisely, they included the lyrics and musical notes on the flyer they sent me last week. And to make doubly sure that I'd recall their TV spots, the outer cover also featured a photo of Wayne Cox, the on-camera personality who promotes the lottery.

So when I put it on my desk beside a heftier package from the Heart & Stroke lottery, there was no contest as to which one I was going to look into first...that of my musical friends.

Maybe I'll get to meet Wayne when they announce that the winner of this year's grand prize is...

Dr. Bob

For the Week Ended Nov. 16th

2006-11-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

DRIVING ME CRAZY
If you read my November 1st post (on my then-daily blog, http://www.intodaysmailbox.blogspot.com) I mentioned how my auto club had sent me an enticing offer to JOIN the club.

I wanted the benefits they were offering to enrolling members but worried that I wouldn't be able to enjoy them because I already belong. Worse, at that point, it looked like I had another year to go on my membership because the expiry date on my card reads, "December 07".

But this past week, before I could phone them, I received a Renewal Notice! It turns out that, on the membership card, they write the month and day of expiry, not the year. So when they write, "December 07", they mean December 7th, not December 2007.

I immediately phoned the club and asked to be renewed at the special price. But as I feared, the lady who took my call told me that the $67.78 price for my wife and myself (less a $10 voucher so it's really just $57.78) was only available to new members; I'd have to renew at $97.56.

I argued, debated and pointed out the folly of their policy, all to no avail.

Fortunately the timing is such that I've been able to pull the same kind of shenanigans with them as they're trying to play with me. I've joined like I'm a new member and am letting my original membership lapse. I'll only be paying for a week or two of double membership.

I should be pleased, but I'm not. I feel like my friend has let me down for some stupid reason of policy or avarice. What's with these companies that treat nobodies better than their loyal customers?!

WHAT WOULD MAL SAY?
If you're new to DM, Mal Warwick is one of North America's leading DM experts. He believes in treating people with respect and care. And as I learned this week, that's not just something that he preaches to his fundraising clientele.

In one of his recent newsletters, he said that he had a limited supply of a book he'd written in 1999, "The 10 Most Important Things About Direct Mail Fundraising". If you were among the first to request it, he'd send it to you for free.

I requested it but, with his agency operating out of California and your scribe being in Canada, I didn't think I had much of a chance of landing a copy. But trust Mal. The week's mail brought the book. I wish he worked at my auto club.

KNOW WHO ELSE IS GOOD?
In my daily blog a few weeks ago, I'd extended kudos to Help The Aged. Here are a couple more for them...

I got my receipt in less than 3 weeks, along with a newsletter, a thank you letter and a hand-written note of thanks from a volunteer. Now, these guys know how to run an operation!

HEY, WHERE'S THE CREATIVE CRITIQUE?
If you were one of my daily blog readers, you might have been expecting me, today, to go on about the creative aspects of packages that I'd received during the past week.

But there was nothing from a creative standpoint that stood out as being particularly good or particularly bad. It was all pretty mainstream. And I figure – why bore you any more than I already have?

But visit this site on Monday, November 27th. I'm confident that, in the coming days, there will be copious quantities of great and terrible packages filling the mailbox of...

Dr. Bob

P.S. I simply MUST get out a new issue of my newsletter, Rants 'n Raves. If you haven't signed up for it yet, better do it fast if you want to catch the next issue. Email me at: b_knight@telus.net

My First Weekly

2006-11-11T21:05:00.000-08:00

First, thanks for checking out my weekly blog! Come back every Monday to see what's new. Now before another day goes by, let's get started...

...to paraphrase Charles Dickens, it was the best of DM, it was the worst of DM.

DELIVERING THE MAIL
Canada Post (CPC) sent me a nifty folder as a householder. It shows a parcel wrapped in brown paper, partly torn to reveal a gift-wrapped present. Intriguing. The inside is colourful and gives you all the info you need to be a happy mailer this season.

In one of my daily posts (www.directmailtoday.blogspot.com) I'd criticized CPC for producing a piece that made it difficult to find where the French text was vs the English. No such problem this time.

One of the covers is in English and the other is in French. Just open the side with the language of your choice and you can continue reading in that language.

DON'T GET MAD AT MADD
Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) sent a fundraising package that contained a tea bag. The idea is to raise a toast to sober driving, but to do it with a cup of tea instead of alcohol.

And so that no one can accuse them of squandering donor dollars by giving away tea bags, they explain in the last line of the letter that, "The enclosed tea bag was generously donated by R.C. Bigelow, Inc."

I hope Bigelow was big enough to do more than merely donate the tea, and that they also coughed up some cash for MADD...because they're getting a sample of their product distributed free of charge. Plus their company is being associated with a respected organization.

GET MAD AT SASKATCHEWAN
I received an email from the government of Saskatchewan. That struck me as weird. But what was weirder – they addressed me as "Economic Development Leader."

What??

The Saskatchewan spam is all about their upcoming 2007 Business Retention and Expansion International Conference, which holds as much interest for me as learning how to operate a threshing machine. And I'm sure I speak for just about every other ad agency on their list.

That's right, they mailed it to a ton of ad agencies, of all people.

Even dumber than sending ad professionals such a misaddressed missive, they show the email address of everyone they spammed! There are more than 1000 names on the list. And all you have to do to spam each one of them is hit Reply All.

The prairie government is fortunate that other recipients deleted their spam as quickly as I did. If all of those spammees had gotten it into their heads to Reply All, my inbox would have been jammed for a week. And yours truly would have been doing more than complain about it in a blog.

ANIMAL MAGNETISM
I'm a sucker for animals and support my local SPCA. So it's no surprise that I was captivated by a 6" X 9" folder send by the national organization.

Making it even more powerful from my perspective, it was enclosed in clear plastic and, when unfolded, measured a desk-commanding 24" X 26". And as if that weren't enough, inside the folder were a newspaper clipping, a letter and an oversized post card.

The trouble for your animal-sensitive scribe is that the photos and story were too shocking and sad. I can't stand to look at photos of badly abused animals. As a result, after opening up the package, I quickly buried it.

I want to help the animals. But I don't want to give myself nightmares doing it. I wonder how many other animal lovers feel the same way as...

Dr. Bob