SAY WHAT?
Note: In this blog, I usually deal with a non-profit DM package and another from a commercial mailer. But a mailing I received from a charity last week contains lessons for anyone using the mail. So I’ll only describe one package today.
(1) The outer envelope features the question, “Can we avert a national healthcare crisis?” Then there are tick boxes for Yes and No.
TIP: Don’t ask questions that recipients can answer definitively, or they don’t need to open the envelope to get the proper answer. In this case, they could have salvaged the question if, rather than featuring the answering options, they’d instead followed the question with something like, “Look inside for the surprising answer.”
(2) In the second paragraph, the letter talks about “half a million people” who have a disease and “97,000” who are going to get it. Look at what I’ve just written. My bet is that the numerals grab your attention more than the words. Yet the organization is trying to wow you most with the former figure.
TIP: If you’re trying to impress someone with numbers, use numerals…"500,000" just looks like more than "half a million".
(3) The package asks me to make a donation and to complete their survey, returning both in the BRE. But the postscript reads, “If you would like to help us reduce the impact on the environment, you can also complete the survey online by visiting (URL).”
Wait a minute. They’ve already impacted the environment negatively by sending me the mailing. How am I going to be able to reduce the impact by merely returning what they’ve already printed?
Plus, why do they say “also”? Do they want me to return the hard copy AND go online?
And, after pleading for a donation, they end up telling me to go online...just to do the survey. There's no mention about donating online.
TIP: Before you go wrapping your organization in motherhood statements, make sure that they make sense. And before you give a recipient instructions, ensure that they’re correct. Otherwise, you might get what you’ve asked for. Especially if you’re dealing with someone like…
Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net
(1) The outer envelope features the question, “Can we avert a national healthcare crisis?” Then there are tick boxes for Yes and No.
TIP: Don’t ask questions that recipients can answer definitively, or they don’t need to open the envelope to get the proper answer. In this case, they could have salvaged the question if, rather than featuring the answering options, they’d instead followed the question with something like, “Look inside for the surprising answer.”
(2) In the second paragraph, the letter talks about “half a million people” who have a disease and “97,000” who are going to get it. Look at what I’ve just written. My bet is that the numerals grab your attention more than the words. Yet the organization is trying to wow you most with the former figure.
TIP: If you’re trying to impress someone with numbers, use numerals…"500,000" just looks like more than "half a million".
(3) The package asks me to make a donation and to complete their survey, returning both in the BRE. But the postscript reads, “If you would like to help us reduce the impact on the environment, you can also complete the survey online by visiting (URL).”
Wait a minute. They’ve already impacted the environment negatively by sending me the mailing. How am I going to be able to reduce the impact by merely returning what they’ve already printed?
Plus, why do they say “also”? Do they want me to return the hard copy AND go online?
And, after pleading for a donation, they end up telling me to go online...just to do the survey. There's no mention about donating online.
TIP: Before you go wrapping your organization in motherhood statements, make sure that they make sense. And before you give a recipient instructions, ensure that they’re correct. Otherwise, you might get what you’ve asked for. Especially if you’re dealing with someone like…
Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net
posted by DoctorBob | 11:37 PM
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