Two Bad Mailings. Too bad.

THE FINANCIAL MAILING
I received a 5 X 9 sheet of cardboard in my mailbox (it isn't classy enough to be called a post card or self-mailer).

One side is red with white reverse type; the other side is white with red type.

One side tells you that if you take this financial institution's credit card you'll get some bonus points. The other side says that each purchase, "helps support the environment." (Don't ask me how because they didn't tell me.) And then it gives a URL.

I'm not going to waste my time going online to find out more and I doubt if many other people will either.

Short copy has its place but the words have to work hard. The copy on this piece is asleep at the switch. I think the creative team was too when they created it.


NO WAY TO FIGHT CANCER
The outer envelope for the package I'm about to describe is pretty good. Unfortunately that's the only thing that's good.

It's an invitation size OE, which gets attention. It's a closed face envelope, which tends to increase results. And there's a live stamp which, likewise, tends to generate higher response rates.

But what's inside from this organization dedicated to fighting cancer? A sympathy card!

At first I had to wrack my brain to recall if a friend or family member had died of the disease recently and the organization was expressing its condolences. But last time I checked, everyone I knew yesterday was alive and kicking today.

The card features the organization's logo on the inside and their name and contact info on the back. So surely they don't consider this to be a premium item that I'll use next time someone close to me kicks the bucket. That would be pretty chintzy.

Is there an explanation anywhere in the package as to what this is all about? Nope. Just a one-sided donation form. Not so much as a request to give or a reason to do so.

I receive a lot of bad DM each week, but these two items have to take the cake. At least that's the opinion of the non-respondent named...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

POSTAGE, CLEAR QUALITY, CHARITY & BUSINESS

OFFICIAL INDICIA OF…
The Canadian Diabetes Association (CDA) sent me an interesting package: a 5-3/4 X 7-1/4 outer envelope featuring a shot of a red ribbon and, inside, several holiday cards.

But it wasn’t the package per se that caught my imagination. It was the postage area.

Beside the Canada Post indicia, the CDA had its own – a fine black circle with their name in it. It looked as official as the post office’s indicia, which gave the OE an air of authority and of being something special…maybe special enough to open up.


CLEAR QUALITY
I guess I’m a sucker for glassine and plastic.

I received a 5-1/4 X 12-1/4 glassine envelope with my name and address, a teaser and the postal indicia printed right onto it. And I was hooked. I just had to open it up.

Inside was a cardboard sleeve with glassine windows on the front and back. Showing through one was a shot of a high-rise building and, through the other, a photo of the Vancouver skyline.

Beside the city shot, there was a cutaway area where you could use your fingers to slide out the enclosure.

I couldn’t resist and pulled out a 4-3/4 X 36 folder promoting a new condo building. One side had all the sales details. The other was a panoramic shot of Vancouver and the harbour where the building would be constructed – a three foot beauty shot.

But the niftiness of the package didn’t end there. For good measure, the letter – an invitation to attend a preview – was written on plastic. How cool is that!


BUSINESS SENSE AND CHARITABLE THOUGHTS
The Mouth and Foot Painting Artists organization sent me a sample calendar featuring paintings that had been done by their members…by holding a paint brush either in a hand or between toes.

It wasn’t a freemium to guilt me into making a charitable donation (the organization isn’t a charity). It really was a sample to entice me to purchase more of their calendars or some greeting cards, in support of their artists.

They did all the right things, from having one of their artists hand-write the covering letter in blue ink to including that sample. The only thing I found strange was that their prices included shipping and handling.

People are used to adding S&H to the posted price of anything they’re going to buy via mail. So when you see that the MFPA is charging $12.45 for a calendar, you mentally start figuring the total cost will be something like $18. But, no, $12.45 is all-inclusive.

I wonder how many prospective buyers won’t order just because of the organization’s rogue pricing structure. If you have an opinion, feel free to share it with…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

Good Non-Profit, Bad Banks, Commercial Killer

GOOD FOR THIS NON-PROFIT
I've ranted in this blog and my newsletter about a particular non-profit organization that keeps sending me the same prospect mailing over and over again. I must have received the idential mailing from them a half dozen times or more over the past year or so.

There's some wisdom in the adage, "If you don't succeed at first, try, try again." But there's also a saying, "Don't beat a dead horse." Obviously, this organization had never heard of the latter.

But I kept hoping they'd eventually figure it out – that I didn't respond the first couple of times, so I likely wouldn't respond on attempts #5 & 6. And they did finallly get the message!

Last week I received a new mailing from them. The teaser was different. The content of the letter was different. The signatory was different. So I treated the package differently – I read it. And I'm actually thinking I might donate.


"BAD, BANK. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN."
A financial institution that holds a lot of my retirement funds sent me a kraft envelope like those that contain my financial statements. There was no teaser, so I presumed that it was about my funds. Wrong!

It was a sales package, trying to talk me into taking out one of their credit cards.

I also got a package from my main financial institution, using a #10 closed face, envelope. Again, because there was no teaser, I presumed that it was about my financial dealings with them. But it was just their newsletter.

Yes, it's nice that they sent me a newsletter. But if I'd known what was inside the envelope, I would have opened it at my leisure and not ahead of more pressing business. And I wouldn't still be ticked off at them.

Recommendation to any company mailing existing customers – use a teaser to let people know what you're up to. Yes, you might get more envelopes opened by being sneaky. But you'll also end up with more customers who no longer think you're the fine, upstanding organizaiton they use to think you were.

COMMERCIAL KILLER
I'll get into more details in my newsletter later this week, but the jist of this story is – Wendy's has been running a humourous commercial showing people inhaling helium directly from a tank. Some anti-inhalant society has been after them, saying it's not good to encourage people to breathe inhalants. No result.

Someone else wrote the Advertising Standards Council stating that, yes the commercial is really funny, but breathing directly from a helium tank can kill you (it killed a Winnipeg teen a few years ago). Days later, Wendy's wrote them saying the commercial would be off air by the end of the week.

Who was that someone? None other than...

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

P.S. So you're sitting there saying, "Hey, that last item wasn't about direct mail!" But actually it was.

It was about how the right message to the right audience at the right time can generate an immediate, desired result...just like more traditional DM campaigns can and should.

CALORIES & POLAR BEARS

BAD COPY SINCE 1905?

The Leclerc food people, who have apparently been in business for 102 years, sent me a 5 X 9 card featuring two coupons.

The front of the piece is OK, showing five of their products and the coupons. It’s the copy on the back that had me ready to chuck my cookies.

They start off by stating that they’ve been, “making cookies since 1905, later adding granola bars, breakfast cereals and crackers.” Does anybody care about how their product line developed?

Then they say, “Leclerc has the goal of producing great tasting, healthy foods at the heart of their business. We want to offer the consumer a healthy product…”

So in one sentence they refer to Leclerc in the third person. And in the next they refer to themselves in the second person.

But worse, the copy is filled with nothing but verbiage about themselves, what they’re doing and what they’re trying to achieve. The whole thing reads like a mission statement in an annual report….not an enticement to try a delicious product with only 100 calories.

To add insult to injurious copy – the two coupons are attached, yet one of the restrictions is, “May not be joined to other offers.”

And finally, they don’t tell you where to buy their products (I’ve never heard of them before) or how to get in touch with the company. No address. No web site. No toll-free number…


POLAR BEARS
It wasn’t that long ago that four-color printing was shunned by just about every non-profit organization with any experience in DM fundraising. The rationale: donors don’t want to see their money being wasted on fancy production.

Many donors still feel that way when there’s no obvious reason for using processed color. But with more non-profits putting out colorful packages, donors are less sensitive to it these days.

I’m sure there will be few complaints about a full color package I received from the World Wildlife Fund last week.

The back of the 5-3/4 X 9-1/2 outer envelope is a shot of a polar bear adrift on a tiny floe of ice. The heading: “The effects of global warming can’t be ignored.” The use of color’s perfectly justified.

Inside there’s a folder with a number of 4-color photos. Again, they help tell the story so I doubt if donors and prospects will be anything but impressed with the WWF message. I know one recipient who is. His name is…

Dr. Bob
symbiomarketing@telus.net

NOTE: The next Rants ‘N Raves newsletter will be out within a week or 10 days. If you’re not a subscriber, email me and I’ll make sure you get it.

AWARDS, STICKERS, METERS, MAL

NOT AN AWARD-WINNING SLOGAN
I received an invitation to the Canadian Marketing Association (CMA) 2007 Awards Gala that I was modestly impressed by – until I got to the end.

Their self-mailer features a cut-out on the front that spins to reveal a different message when you open the piece. When closed, the headline reads, “Come for the glamour.” When you open the folder, the panel flips to read, “Stay for the creative.”

Fun!

The rest of the copy is fine, although it’s set in reverse which will cut the readership by half. And the design is clean and distinctive.

But what got me was the slogan. Or, more correctly, slogans.

The CMA wasn’t content to say, “Results-driven as always. Passionate about great creative like never before.” They have a second tag line under that one, reading, “The results you expect. The rest is unexpected.”

Both lines are fine unto themselves. But together? Has no one there heard the expression, “A good artist knows when to stop”?

At least they weren’t lying. Getting two slogans on top of each other was, indeed, unexpected.


MEMORY STICKERS
What do people first think of when they think of Alzheimer’s disease? If I remember correctly, the answer is: Memory loss.

So what could be more appropriate for them to send as a premium than stickers so you don’t forget things!

The package I received from them last week features a large sheet of stickers. A couple of them read, “Remember to…” There are others that you can affix to a calendar to remind you of things like your doctor’s appointment, to get a dentist’s checkup, and to have coffee with a friend.

I’m going to describe their mailing in greater detail in my next Rants ‘N Raves newsletter, which is due out this month. If you don’t subscribe, email me at: symbiomarketing@telus.net


METERED MESS
When a charity sent me a request to complete a survey, I knew what they were after without even opening the envelope. That’s because it featured a 44-word explanation set in American Typewriter font.

Under their logo, again set in American Typewriter, were the words: “Attention: Citizens’ Panel.”

Because of the way the type was set, the envelope looked very down-home and friendly…the way a personal appeal should look.

But there was one little item that destroyed that illusion.

They’d metered the postage. As a result, emblazoned on the envelope in larger sized type than the logo, were the words, “Addressed Admail.”

So much for the vision of some poor soul labouriously typing out an envelope, evoking the sympathy of the recipient.


LATE KNIGHT
I’d planned to have my web site updated by now, but it’s going to take a few weeks longer.


MAL’S NEWSLETTER
If you’re into fundraising, you undoubtedly know of Mal Warwick and his newsletter. If you’re not a subscriber, here’s a link to the latest issue:
http://www.malwarwick.com/learning-resources/e-newsletters/october-2007.html#1_Kiss_Your_Competitors

Oh, imagine that! It happens to start with an article by…

Dr. Bob
EMAIL: symbiomarketing@telus.net
WEB: www.symbiomarketing.com