MONDAY, AUGUST 13

FOLLOW-UP
Last week I told you about receiving a Bank of Montreal (BMO) Mosaik credit card that I hadn't ordered, followed by a kind of welcome letter in a plain white envelope.

A couple of days after posting that blog, I heard again from BMO. This time, their message came in a colourful envelope, proclaiming, "Welcome and thank you for choosing Mosaik Mastercard."

Now I'm a little spooked.

Their correspondence all sounds so legit, I'm wondering if someone ordered a card in my name. Their intention, I suspect, would be to conduct a little identity theft and run up some bills in my name.

Or is it, as I mused last week, a marketing ploy? If that's the case, I'm going to be more than a little ticked, because the identity theft fear has me about to call BMO to see what's going on.

Or could it be that your scribe ordered the card in his sleep? If so, Dr. Bob's going to have to visit the doctor.


MILLION DOLLAR PACKAGE
There are so many charitable lotteries around these days, it's hard to tell one 1st prize mansion from another. Or a Ferrari prize from a Lambourgini. Recognizing that, the BC Cancer Agency has performed a DM zig where everyone else is doing zags.

Their outer envelope doesn't feature colourful exclamations about how great you'd feel if you won the lottery. It's in black and white and merely says, "If I had a million dollars..."

Inside, there's no letter laced with tantalizing come-ons to purchase a ticket. Instead, there's a legal sized sheet of paper that delivers the main points above an attached order form. The letter and order form, like the OE, are in understated black and white.

But surely, you say, there must be a gargantuan brochure chock full of photos of the gorgeous house and exotic cars you could win. After all, it's de rigor in the charitable lottery game. No – there's just a small, stapled brochure with the facts...again, in black and white.

And, ready for this? They're not giving away a single house, car or stick of furniture. Every prize is cash, with the grand prize being a million bucks.

But the piece de resistance is a testimonial from Kevin Hearn of the Barenaked Ladies, the group that wrote and performed the song (and envelope teaser), "If I had a million dollars." Doubling the impact of his words of support – he's a cancer survivor.

This package has me so excited, I'm going to order a ticket...maybe on the BMO Mosaik credit card mistakenly sent to...

Dr. Bob
b_knight@telus.net